7 questions to ask your child about how school is going

ByGail Belsky

At a glance

  • It can be hard to get kids to talk about how things are going at school.

  • Asking open-ended questions encourages kids to talk more.

  • Knowing what’s happening at school helps you spot challenges.

Often, when parents ask about their child’s day at school, they don’t get a big response. It might be just a shrug, or a quick “fine.” 

Open-ended questions can help make kids think about what’s going on. And they can let you get more than a one-word answer. Here are seven simple questions you can ask to learn more about your child’s day at school.

1. “What made you laugh today?”

Asking kids to think about a happy topic can make them more eager to share, and not just shoot off an answer.

2. “Which subject was your favorite today?”

This question can give you an idea of strengths and interests you might not know about. You can follow up with “What was your least favorite?”

3. “What was the best part of your day?”

Starting with the positive may make it easier for your child to talk about negative things that happened, too. 

4. “Who did you sit with at lunch today?”

This is a gentle way to find out if your child is making friends and feels like part of the group. 

5. “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”

If the answer is often “nothing,” it could mean your child isn’t tuned in or doesn’t fully understand what’s being taught. 

6. What did you like most about school today?

Your child can go anywhere with this question, and you may learn new things about what your child is thinking and doing.

7. “What was the hardest thing you did today?”

This question lets your child talk about things that were challenging in a good way and also things that were a struggle.

Want to make a habit of asking these questions at home? Download this simple activity.

Activity: Make a question jarPDF

Continuing to probe when you’re not getting much in return can feel uncomfortable. But there are benefits to asking about school on a regular basis. Asking questions lets you:

  • Get insight into a part of your child’s life that you don’t normally see. You’ll have a better sense of what your child is experiencing — positive and negative.
  • Spot problems your child might be having with learning or in social situations.
  • Show that you’re interested in your child’s thoughts and feelings, and that you’re always available to talk.

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    About the author

    About the author

    Gail Belsky is executive editor at Understood. She has written and edited for major media outlets, specializing in parenting, health, and career content.

    Reviewed by

    Reviewed by

    Andrew Kahn, PsyD is a licensed psychologist who has served as an evaluator and consultant in public schools for nearly 20 years. Kahn, who describes himself as neurodivergent, is a subject matter expert at Understood.