--- title: 4 playdate problems and how to handle them description: When kids have trouble with social skills, playdates might not always go smoothly. Discover how to handle situations where your child becomes quiet when their friend arrives, and find solutions for other playdate problems. slug: 4-playdate-problems-and-solutions author: Lexi Walters Wright reviewer: Elizabeth Harstad, MD, MPH published: '2019-10-16T11:39:22.039Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/3T9QsrFpBafBC06nnmhZ5K/debce543211375f463fdc8cef7747d59/G200325903-003.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-playdate-problems-and-solutions lang: en --- # 4 playdate problems and how to handle them When other kids come over to play, it can be challenging — especially for kids who struggle socially. Learn what problems to anticipate and how to handle them. ## 1. As soon as a friend arrives, your child clams up. Plan an activity, like a craft or a puzzle, that doesn’t require a lot of talking. This helps take the pressure off. Your child doesn’t have to come up with things to say. Instead, the kids can jump into the activity. Chit-chat might happen naturally from there. ## 2. Your child doesn’t want to share. Have your child put away favorite toys or games before the friend arrives. Or go to a playground where sharing won’t be as big a problem. ## 3. If more than one friend comes over, your child gets left out. Try to have just one friend over at a time. This way, your child has a better chance of connecting with the friend. And let your child give as much input as you can — who to invite, where to go, what to do. Remind your child that [making friends](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/why-some-kids-have-trouble-making-friends) takes time and practice. ## 4. Half an hour into it, your child is done. Invite the other child’s parent. That way, if you feel like ending things early, you won’t be stuck waiting. Thirty minutes of fun is better than 90 minutes of unhappiness. Looking for more ideas? Get tips on [helping your child with social cues](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/helping-your-child-with-social-cues). Explore 10 ways to help [playdates with preschoolers](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/10-playdate-tips-when-you-have-a-preschooler) go off without a hitch. And use this checklist to decide if your child is [ready for a sleepover](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/checklist-is-your-child-ready-for-a-sleepover). --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [10 playdate tips when you have a preschooler](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/10-playdate-tips-when-you-have-a-preschooler) - Its important for preschoolers to be able to play well with other kids and make friends. If your child doesnt yet have these skills, youll need to do a little more preparation when kids come over to play. But these strategies can help hangouts go off without a hitch. 1. Pick the right playmate. Not - [How to help your preschooler handle school cliques](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-help-preschoolers-with-learning-and-thinking-differences-handle-school-cliques) - - Cliques start to form as early as preschool. - Preschoolers might want to be friends with kids who have similar skills. - Kids whose skills arent as developed yet may feel left out. Cliques dont form too often in preschool, but it happens sometimes.Skill level varies a lot at this age. And ki - [6 ways to help your preschooler connect with other kids](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-ways-to-help-your-preschooler-connect-with-other-kids) - Many kids are starting to form their first real friendships in preschool. But others dont seem to know how. They may have trouble listening, understanding social cues, and other skills needed to make friends. Here are ways to help your preschooler through the process of making friends. 1. Identify p --- ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-playdate-problems-and-solutions#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-playdate-problems-and-solutions","description":"When kids have trouble with social skills, playdates might not always go smoothly. Discover how to handle situations where your child becomes quiet when their friend arrives, and find solutions for other playdate problems."},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-playdate-problems-and-solutions","name":"4 playdate problems and how to handle them"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"Article","datePublished":"2019-10-16T11:39:22.039Z","description":"When kids struggle with social skills, playdates may not go smoothly. 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