--- title: 4 tips for helping middle-schoolers learn to speak up for themselves description: Standing up for yourself is an important skill to learn and practice in middle school. Find out how to teach self-advocacy skills to your middle-schooler. slug: 4-tips-for-helping-your-middle-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate author: Amanda Morin reviewer: Donna Volpitta, EdD published: '2019-10-16T12:23:04.519Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/3Bjiagk95gulaeDnxShFUu/8762da2cf6a9dfedc7c078a1e4f679c0/G178433663.jpg source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-tips-for-helping-your-middle-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate lang: en --- # 4 tips for helping middle-schoolers learn to speak up for themselves Middle school [can be hard for kids](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/middle-school-challenges-learning-differences). Most kids don’t want to stand out from the crowd. They may hesitate to speak up for themselves, not only with other kids but with teachers, too. Kids who learn and think differently may be used to watching you advocate for them to help them get the support they need. When they hit middle school, though, you’re not always going to be there when things get tough. So, it’s more important than ever for kids to learn [self-advocacy](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-importance-of-self-advocacy) skills. Kids might not be ready to be their *only* advocate, but there are ways to start teaching them to speak up for themselves. ## 1. Talk about the challenges of middle school. The [transition to middle school](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-steps-to-prepare-your-child-for-changes-to-routine-in-middle-school) can be tough. Kids usually have more teachers in middle school than they did in grade school. And the teachers may all have different teaching styles. Speaking up to some of the teachers can be scary, especially when kids are used to having only one or two main teachers. Remind your child that the teachers are there to help, but that they need to know their students in order to know how to help them. Kids can make a [3×3 card](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/download-3x3-card-to-help-teachers-get-to-know-your-child) to share with their teachers. This is an easy way to let teachers know more about what kids are good at, what they like, and what is challenging for them. ## 2. Let kids know you’re on their team. Kids in middle school are still learning to speak up for themselves. Make sure they know you’re still going to speak up for them and that you’ll [jump in when you’re needed](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/social-problems-at-school-how-and-when-to-jump-in). It’s good for kids to know that you’re on their team but you’re* *also still learning [how to be an effective advocate](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/parent-advocacy-steps). It’s something you can work on together. ## 3. Help kids learn their strengths. It can be tough to feel different in middle school. But when kids find what they’re good at and what they love to do, it’s a good way to [build self-esteem](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-build-self-esteem) and [make friends](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-skills-for-making-friends). They can [join sports teams](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-get-your-child-involved-in-sports) or participate in other [extracurricular activities](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-ways-to-improve-your-childs-self-esteem-with-extracurricular-activities) with other kids who have the same interests. When you help kids [identify their strengths](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/5-steps-for-recognizing-strengths-in-kids) and [interests](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/kids-activities-strengths), it can help them feel more confident about speaking up for themselves. ## 4. Talk openly about learning and thinking differences. Kids who learn and think differently know that some things are more challenging for them. They know it has an effect on how they learn and at home. But they may need to know it’s OK to talk about it. [Talk about learning and thinking differences](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-talk-to-your-child-about-learning-and-thinking-differences) at home. You don’t have to use too many clinical terms. But knowing you’re willing to talk can help reduce stigma and empower kids. --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [6 tips for helping your grade-schooler learn to self-advocate](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-tips-for-helping-your-grade-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate) - Self-advocacy is an important skill for kids with learning and thinking differences to develop. Being able to speak up for what they need helps them navigate challenges and get support. You can help your child build this skill by providing opportunities to speak up and ask for help. The process beg - [8 steps for helping third and fourth graders become self-advocates](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/8-steps-for-helping-third-and-fourth-graders-become-self-advocates) - As your third or fourth grader moves into a new phase of learning, its a good time to start teaching self-advocacy skills. Understanding and talking about challenges can help kids start to identify and ask for what they need. Here are some steps to begin that process. Define the issue. Talk with kid - [6 tips for helping your high-schooler learn to self-advocate](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-tips-for-helping-your-high-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate) - High school can present challenges for kids with learning and thinking differences. Thats true both academically and socially. Its important that your child be able to self-advocate in those situations. Doing it now is also good practice for life after high school. Here are ways to help kids speak u --- ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-tips-for-helping-your-middle-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-tips-for-helping-your-middle-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate","description":"Standing up for yourself is an important skill to learn and practice in middle school. 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