--- title: 6 pitfalls to avoid when helping your child choose a college description: Helping your child with learning and thinking differences find the right college can be tricky. Here are six pitfalls to avoid in the process. slug: 6-pitfalls-to-avoid-when-helping-your-child-choose-a-college author: Manju Banerjee, PhD published: '2019-08-05T15:34:19.231Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/6882CDB92E094679BFC866E2EA2F93EF/29a516a4034fd2b487559e6315dd73f1/i155225242.jpg source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-pitfalls-to-avoid-when-helping-your-child-choose-a-college lang: en --- # 6 pitfalls to avoid when helping your child choose a college Working with your teen with learning and thinking differences to [choose a college](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-choose-a-college-for-students-with-learning-disabilities) can be very exciting. However, it can also be somewhat daunting, and it may create a lot of tension between the two of you. Your child’s expectations about college may clash with what you think is best. Here are pitfalls to avoid when looking at schools. ## Pitfall #1: Making a college list without your child’s input. **How to avoid it:** Start talking with your child about possible colleges early. Discuss what criteria you each think are important in a school. This may include location, majors and minors, admissions, [two- or four-year options](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/types-of-colleges-and-how-they-differ), extracurriculars, and more. Use these criteria to come up with a list together. It’s important to take your child’s choices seriously. *Your child* is the one heading to college. Also, try not to take it personally if there are disagreements about your suggestions. ## Pitfall #2: Assuming you know what your child needs to succeed in college. **How to avoid it:** You probably have a good idea what helped your child be successful in high school. But college will be a different experience, and one you may not always be able to predict. It’s important for kids to assess their own [strengths and weaknesses](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/types-of-strengths-in-kids) when considering colleges. Parents can help by listening closely when kids describe what *they *say their needs are. [Self-awareness](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-importance-of-self-awareness) is a key part of college success. ## Pitfall #3: Managing all of the college search details yourself. **How to avoid it:** You may not want to leave *all *of the college planning to your child. But it’s a good idea for kids to [have some responsibility for managing the actual search process](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/video-why-students-should-take-the-lead-in-finding-a-college). Get your child involved. For instance, teens can research the dates of the open houses at the schools you’re visiting, and add these dates to a family calendar. Or they can look into [college programs for kids with learning and thinking differences](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/15-college-programs-for-kids-with-learning-and-thinking-differences). ## Pitfall #4: Underestimating the importance of independent living skills. **How to avoid it:** When looking at colleges, you may be tempted to focus on academics. To succeed, however, kids need many [independent living skills](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-independent-living-skills-kids-need-before-moving-away-from-home). They’ll need to manage money, meals, schedules, personal hygiene, and maybe even medication. As you choose a college, keep in mind the level of support your child will need. You may want to consider a school closer to home. Start working on the skills your child will need for college as early as possible. ## Pitfall #5: Not asking for advice and support from others. **How to avoid it:** Nobody knows your child like you do. They may not know what’s best for your child. But trusted friends, family members, and school professionals can be sounding boards and an added layer of support for you and your child. They can help kids [think about strengths](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/kids-activities-strengths), goals, and values. They can also help them communicate about where they see themselves fitting in, and why. And they might even be able to help keep kids on track with their responsibilities in the process. Finally, their experiences may lead you to options you and your child had not even considered. ## Pitfall #6: Showing too much disappointment if your child isn’t accepted. **How to avoid it:** Your child has overcome so many challenges to get here. It can feel like a big blow when kids [don’t get into their first choice of colleges](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/4-college-rejection-scenarios-how-to-help-kids-with-learning-and-thinking-differences). Not being too disappointed is important not only for your child’s feelings, but also for yourself. Your child may get into other schools on the list, and it’ll be important for both of you to feel like those are great choices, too. It’s important to [stay positive](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/7-strategies-to-promote-positive-thinking) and cheer kids on, no matter where they go. Choosing a college is just one step in the process — the next is preparation. Read [steps to help your child transition from high school to college](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/9-steps-for-easing-the-transition-to-college). And check out [what to know about college disability services](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/7-things-to-know-about-college-disability-services). --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [Choosing a college: How to help kids weigh the options](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-choose-a-college-for-students-with-learning-disabilities) - - There are many factors to consider in a college search besides academic supports. - Start by asking kids what theyre looking for in a college and what they might want to study. - Keep your childs strengths, weaknesses, interests, and needs in mind as you look at schools. After years of worki - [10 steps to a more organized college application process](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/10-steps-to-a-more-organized-college-application-process) - Applying to college is a big job with many moving pieces. And projects that require multiple steps and deadlines can be difficult for kids with learning and thinking differences to tackle and break down. Understanding the application process and staying organized can make this job more manageable f - [5 talking points to get your child thinking realistically about college](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/tips-for-talking-to-your-child-about-college) - - Going from high school to college is a challenging transition for many teens. - Its important for kids to understand their needs as they think about the future. - The right college fit is more important than location for most kids. 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