--- title: 6 self-advocacy sentence starters for grade-schoolers with ADHD description: Self-advocacy is a key skill for children with ADHD to learn in grade school. Go over these scenarios to practice self-advocacy with your child with ADHD. slug: 6-things-your-grade-schooler-with-adhd-can-say-to-self-advocate author: Amanda Morin reviewer: Mark J. Griffin, PhD published: '2019-10-01T19:44:53.349Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/2KC9OvQTrKMhYdd443SbDZ/c9c1fe998bd329e9028797d94087dbc4/g1146164211.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-things-your-grade-schooler-with-adhd-can-say-to-self-advocate lang: en --- # 6 self-advocacy sentence starters for grade-schoolers with ADHD Grade-schoolers don’t always have the words to explain what they need or to ask for help. But being able to [self-advocate](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-importance-of-self-advocacy) is especially important for kids with [ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-adhd) whose symptoms might make it look like they’re misbehaving. Help your child by going over sentence starters like these. ## 1. “The teacher does it differently for me.” **The situation:** A substitute teacher gets frustrated with your child for blurting out the answers. **Your child can go up to the substitute during a quiet time and say:** “My teacher and I have a signal we use to remind me to raise my hand and wait my turn. Can we use it today, too?” **Your child can ask you to talk to the IEP team:** “Can someone at school let substitutes know about the signal we use? That way they’ll know I need help remembering to wait my turn.” ## 2. “Can you help me fix a problem with a friend?” **The situation:** During a group project, your child keeps interrupting and tells a classmate her idea is stupid. Your child realizes it was a mistake *after* saying it. **Your child can say to the teacher after class:** “I think I hurt Jenna’s feelings. [I didn’t mean to](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/why-some-kids-have-trouble-making-friends), and I don’t know what to say to make it better. Can you help me?” ## 3. “Can I work someplace else?” **The situation:** During independent work time, your child is distracted because the teacher is working with a small group nearby. **Your child can say to the teacher:** “I have a hard time not getting distracted by the group. Is there [somewhere else I can go](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/classroom-accommodations-for-adhd) to finish my work?” **Your child can ask you to talk to the IEP team:** “Can it be in my learning plan that I need a quieter place to go during work time?” ## 4. “Can we try it a different way?” **The situation:** During a spelling quiz, your child has to spend a lot of time focusing on and remembering the directions, and they don’t finish the test on time. **Your child can say to the teacher:** “I have trouble thinking about the directions and writing the answer at the same time. Can I do it again when there’s some free time?” **Your child can ask you to talk to the IEP team:** “Is there something that can help me remember the directions while I’m taking the test?” ## 5. “I didn’t mean to say that.” **The situation:** Your child complains about something another student has done and wants the teacher to punish the other student. When that doesn’t happen, your child yells at the teacher: “That’s not *fair*,” and storms off. **Your child can say to the teacher later:** “I’m sorry I acted like that. Sometimes I have [trouble keeping my cool](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-and-emotions-what-you-need-to-know). I’m working on it, though.” **Your child can ask you to talk to the IEP team:** “Can we come up with a [plan to help with this](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/behavior-intervention-plans-what-you-need-to-know)? I’m trying to have more control over how I act.” ## 6. “Can you help me explain this?” **The situation:** Your child gets in trouble during music class for fidgeting on the risers when the class is supposed to be standing and singing. **Your child can say to the classroom teacher:** “I don’t mean to bother people. It’s just hard for me to stand still for that long. Can you help me explain that to the music teacher?” **Your child can ask you to talk to the IEP team:** “Can we think of some ways for me to be able to move during music class without getting into trouble?” --- ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-things-your-grade-schooler-with-adhd-can-say-to-self-advocate#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-things-your-grade-schooler-with-adhd-can-say-to-self-advocate","description":"Self-advocacy is a key skill for children with ADHD to learn in grade school. 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