--- title: Making friends as an adult with ADHD description: 'Building friendships can be tricky for adults with ADHD. Learn why and get tips on how to help better manage these relationships. ' slug: adhd-adult-friendship author: Ryan Douglass published: '2021-05-03T20:14:15.712Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/3oyPNGsxhd39gRJMyIHroy/31e060b6575998d3ca92f3095cac8779/Making-friends-as-an-adult-with-ADHD.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-adult-friendship lang: en --- # Making friends as an adult with ADHD Making friends looks different at each stage of life. In elementary school, you might bond with the kids who sit next to you in class. In high school, extracurricular activities can connect you with kids who share common interests. And in college, you might spend time with your dorm mates and people you meet in class and at events.  Growing up, you don’t have to look far for potential friends or do much to be in touch. They’re right there. But in the adult world, friendships get a bit trickier — especially for people like me with [ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-adhd).  Adults have to be proactive when it comes to maintaining relationships. That’s because life gets in the way. Things like busy schedules and our daily responsibilities often keep us from checking in with those we care about.  > “Once people understood me, we were able to form greater bonds.” ADHD can make it harder to stay on top of relationships. You might lose track of time and not realize how long it’s been since you’ve seen someone. Or you might forget to call when you say you will. This can make some people think you don’t care, especially if they don’t understand your challenges. Social skills play a huge role in making and keeping friends. Part of being a good friend is being a good listener and communicator. Like many adults with ADHD, I struggle with paying attention. I’m easily distracted. To people who don’t know me well, or who don’t know I have ADHD, that might come across as not being interested in them or what they’re saying.  It’s taken a little while, but I’ve gotten better at navigating the world of friendships as an adult with ADHD. I’ve taken steps to help me create strong relationships. As an adult, you have to go out of your way to make friends. It’s usually not as easy as talking to the person who sits next to you at work. Shared interests can help you form connections and build friendships — and make it easier to find something to talk about in the beginning. Social media and websites like Meetup have helped me connect with new people who do what I enjoy doing. I’m also more proactive about sharing that I have ADHD. Opening up about our experiences with ADHD can be intimidating. But it helps form a basis for trust.  When I started telling other adults about my ADHD, I found out that I wasn’t alone. And once people understood me, we were able to form greater bonds. Friends who understand your challenges make all the difference. --- Learn more about [everyday skills ADHD affects](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-and-related-behaviors). --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [My child with ADHD has lots of friends but is still lonely. What’s going on?](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-has-friends-but-lonely) - Q. My 12-year-old son with ADHD has no trouble making or keeping friends. Hes very social, but he often says hes lonely. Why would that be? A. This is a common situation that isnt unique to kids with ADHD. But ADHD can definitely make it more complicated. Some children with ADHD struggle with social - [5 ways ADHD can affect social skills](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/5-ways-adhd-can-affect-social-skills) - ADHD can make it hard for people to focus and pay attention. But it affects more than just school or work. ADHD can affect social skills, too. Here are five common social challenges people with ADHD may face and ways you can help. 1. Trouble picking up on social cues The ADHD link: People with ADHD - [ADHD and the art of friendship](https://www.understood.org/en/podcasts/sorry-i-missed-this/adhd-and-the-art-of-friendship) - ADHD friends Cate Osborn and Elizabeth Kilmer explore what friendship is like with ADHD. Juggling everything that ADHD throws at us can make us struggle in our friendships. Trouble with executive function affects our ability to communicate and remember things. And the shame that comes with ADHD c --- ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-adult-friendship#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-adult-friendship","description":"Building friendships can be tricky for adults with ADHD. Learn why and get tips on how to help better manage these relationships. 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