--- title: What to say when people judge how you parent your child with ADHD description: When your child has ADHD, other parents and adults might criticize or judge your parenting skills. Here are things you can say to get them to stop interfering. slug: at-a-glance-what-to-say-when-other-people-interfere-with-your-parenting author: Lexi Walters Wright reviewer: Laura Tagliareni, PhD published: '2019-08-05T15:56:19.595Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/3fxm6xpafI6hDjVIXxbbAR/42bf50fe12ce706b4f7c3c09d75fdea3/G532667339.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/at-a-glance-what-to-say-when-other-people-interfere-with-your-parenting lang: en --- # What to say when people judge how you parent your child with ADHD Whether they mean to or not, other people can be rude or judgmental about how you parent. They might assume they know more about [ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-adhd) and your child’s challenges than you do. They may even try to step in. Here are ideas on how to respond when other parents and adults criticize, offer unwanted advice, or try to discipline your child. ## Offering unwanted advice **The scene:** At school drop-off, another mom says, “I read an article about ADHD today. It said that parents should change their kids’ diets to stop bad behavior. Did you see that?” **How to respond:** “I did, thanks!” or, “No, but that sounds interesting.” **The rationale:** You don’t have to chat with near-strangers about your parenting choices. You can choose a polite version of “I’m not comfortable discussing my child.” ## Criticizing your parenting **The scene:** Your daughter forgets her soccer cleats. You go home for them, because you know how your child loves soccer after a hard day at school. Another dad says, “She sure has you wrapped around her finger.” **How to respond:** “She’s getting better at staying organized, and soccer is great for her.” **The rationale:** You can offer a bit of information without going into details. Sharing that your child is working on something hints that there’s more going on than meets the eye. ## Disciplining your child **The scene: **At a birthday party, another parent says, “If he’d stay in one place, we could get a picture of the whole group. Alan, will you stop fidgeting?” **How to respond:** When your child isn’t listening, try saying, “Staying still is hard for Alan. We’re working on it, and we’d prefer to keep this a family matter.” **The rationale:** It’s understandable to go into protective mode when another adult tells your child what to do. Try to stay calm and stick to the facts. Dealing with other people’s judgment can be frustrating and emotionally draining. Hear from another parent on what she [wishes people knew about parenting a child with ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/8-things-i-wish-people-knew-about-parenting-a-child-with-adhd). Download an [ADHD fact sheet](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-fact-sheet) you can share. --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [What to do when people say insensitive things about your child](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/tips-for-responding-to-insensitive-comments-about-your-child) - When people say thoughtless things about your child, it can be hard to know what to do. These tips can help. - [What to do if you notice learning and thinking differences in other people’s kids](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-to-do-if-you-notice-signs-of-learning-and-thinking-differences-in-other-peoples-kids) - - Other parents may come to you for advice or input on learning and thinking differences. But they may not ask directly. - Its helpful to empathize, but not to probe for information. - There are ways you can steer parents to professionals who could help their kids without pushing it. The more e - [ADHD and self-esteem: What to say to your child](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-and-self-esteem-what-to-say-to-your-child) - Kids with ADHD can be hard on themselves. And that can make it tough for them to build positive self-esteem. Even when you have the best of intentions, you might say things that can negatively affect your childs self-esteem. Here are five common phrases and what you can say instead. 1. 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