--- title: My middle-schooler doesn’t want to talk about dyslexia with teachers. What can I do? description: Kids with dyslexia may be too self-conscious to speak up for what they need in class. Learn how to help your child self-advocate with teachers. slug: child-embarrassed-to-talk-about-dyslexia author: Patricia Flanagan, LCSW published: '2019-08-05T16:00:22.079Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/4q23pKRGXy1OVngRiaqRWC/c03e83874563289936c7035ec9ab8583/G1343515317.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/child-embarrassed-to-talk-about-dyslexia lang: en --- # My middle-schooler doesn’t want to talk about dyslexia with teachers. What can I do? **Q. ****My sixth grader has dyslexia and is too self-conscious to talk about it — even to teachers. How can I help my child speak up?** **A. **This is a question that will strike a chord with many parents. That’s particularly true if your child is an adolescent. Tweens and teens are often self-conscious to begin with. When they learn and think differently, they may be even more reluctant to call attention to themselves. They may avoid speaking up in class or [self-advocating](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-importance-of-self-advocacy) with teachers. Fortunately, there are things you can do to make it easier. First, you can help kids feel more comfortable about dyslexia. Explain that [dyslexia](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-dyslexia) is a [variation in the brain](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/video-dyslexia-and-the-brain) that’s unrelated to intelligence. Another great way to encourage kids to speak up is to meet with their team of teachers — just for that purpose. Try to schedule this meeting as early in the year as possible. You can even do it before the start of school. (If it’s later in the school year, though, it’s fine to meet then.) Explain to the teachers in advance that your goal is to help your child learn to self-advocate. Meeting with teachers gives you an opportunity to share what you know about your child’s strengths and needs. It also allows you to share strategies that can help your child thrive in the classroom. Here are some things you can do to help prepare your child for the meeting: - Talk about the plan to meet with the team. - Share your observations about your child’s [strengths](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/types-of-strengths-in-kids) and challenges. - Ask what your child might want teachers to know. - Help your child script thoughts in order to participate during the meeting. It’s often helpful to have talking points to guide the meeting. You can work together to provide the team with a written list of what your child struggles with and the things that help. You can even write out how to explain each challenge and solution. For example: *I get anxious when I’m called on to read in class, and then I make mistakes. Can I get assigned a section to read ahead of time so I can practice?* Helping your child recognize and state the need ahead of time can [build self-awareness](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/7-ways-to-help-teens-and-tweens-gain-self-awareness) and an understanding of what is challenging. Then, by brainstorming strategies, you’re helping your child take positive action. Participating in the meeting is the next step in becoming a self-advocate. It can help your child speak up, articulate needs, and become part of the solution. If your child is hesitant to speak at the meeting, you can help. Here are some things you could say: - Is there anything I left out that you want to add? - Are there things you want to ask your teachers? - Maybe you can explain a little more about why that’s hard for you. - Is there anything you think might be helpful to you? - Are there things teachers sometimes do that *aren’t* helpful? It’s OK to talk about that. It’s important not to push kids to speak up if they’re not ready, however. It can make them feel even more embarrassed or anxious. Just being there with written ideas is a good start. Teachers can also help your child join in the conversation. They might ask for opinions or direct some of their comments directly to your child. It provides positive reinforcement for speaking up. This will also open lines of communication so that teachers can touch base with and encourage your child to speak to them throughout the year. Even if your child starts building self-advocacy skills, *you’ll* still need to advocate, too. But the more practice your child gets now, the better. It’s an especially important skill to have once your child leaves high school. There are other ways you can help build that skill. Find [sentence starters kids can use to self-advocate](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/self-advocacy-sentence-starters-for-kids). You can even download a worksheet to [help develop self-awareness](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/download-self-awareness-worksheet-for-kids). --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [6 tips for helping your grade-schooler learn to self-advocate](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-tips-for-helping-your-grade-schooler-learn-to-self-advocate) - Self-advocacy is an important skill for kids with learning and thinking differences to develop. Being able to speak up for what they need helps them navigate challenges and get support. You can help your child build this skill by providing opportunities to speak up and ask for help. The process beg - [5 self-advocacy sentence starters for middle-schoolers with dyslexia ](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/5-things-your-middle-schooler-with-dyslexia-can-say-to-self-advocate) - Middle school can be a tough time for all kids. And kids with dyslexia dont want to feel singled out. Its important to build self-advocacy skills to help them get what they need. Rehearsing common situations can help kids know where to start. 1. Can I do part of this later? The situation: The coach - [5 ways to help your grade-schooler gain self-awareness](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/5-ways-to-help-your-grade-schooler-gain-self-awareness) - - Children who are self-aware understand their abilities, interests, and needs. - Self-awareness is a skill that can be learned over time. - Its good for kids in grade school to start understanding their strengths and weaknesses. 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