---
title: How to help grade-schoolers gain self-control
description: 'Some kids struggle with self-control and need help developing it. Learn ways to improve self-control skills in grade-schoolers. '
slug: grade-school-build-self-control
author: Lexi Walters Wright
reviewer: Mark J. Griffin, PhD
published: '2019-08-05T15:44:42.006Z'
thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/4gB70M0oTtlVQMX2kGw9WW/4e260d0bddfe3c1e284a544d54c61812/Enhance60_1200x900_thumbnail_UnderstoodHowtoHelpGrade-SchoolersGainSelf-Control.png
source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/grade-school-build-self-control
lang: en
---

# How to help grade-schoolers gain self-control

When grade-schoolers struggle with [self-control](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/self-control-what-it-means-for-kids), they may need extra help learning to control emotions and impulses.

Some kids react badly when they don’t know what to expect in a situation — or what’s expected of them. Fill kids in ahead of time if an activity might be boring or unpleasant, or if it could take a long time.

It’s important to praise kids’ efforts, too. When you see kids practicing self-control, acknowledge it out loud: ”I love how you waited your turn to talk.” This kind of positive reinforcement helps them feel proud that they can control their behavior.

There are also lots of [free and low-costs apps](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/apps-to-help-younger-kids-with-self-control) to help young kids build self-control skills, like waiting and managing emotions.

Keep in mind that self-control doesn’t come naturally to all grade-schoolers. But by helping them learn to keep their behavior in check, you make it easier for them to make and keep friends and handle feelings. And that can improve self-esteem in the long run.

---

<!-- structured-data -->
```json
[{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/grade-school-build-self-control#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/grade-school-build-self-control","description":"Some kids struggle with self-control and need help developing it. Learn ways to improve self-control skills in grade-schoolers. "},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/grade-school-build-self-control","name":"How to help grade-schoolers gain self-control"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"Article","datePublished":"2019-08-05T15:44:42.006Z","description":"Some kids struggle with self-control and need help developing it. Learn ways to improve self-control skills in grade-schoolers. ","headline":"How to help grade-schoolers gain self-control","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/grade-school-build-self-control","publisher":{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://www.understood.org/#organization","name":"Understood for All Inc","logo":"https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/307jFAYQevghG8nQMCjh89/ccdbbec895765824db43f6d30b496e83/logo_lockup_navy.jpg"}}]
```