--- title: How do I monitor my kids’ online activities without spying on them? description: Read about monitoring your kids' online activities and how to keep your children safe online. Having monitoring programs and internet safety measures can protect your child. slug: how-do-i-monitor-my-kids-online-activities-without-spying-on-them author: Caroline Knorr published: '2019-10-16T11:45:24.050Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/CC2F4BA144E14878A1DB90845CF683D8/1c3b9d672342ec13aee5f839bbac6908/BLD121963.jpg source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-do-i-monitor-my-kids-online-activities-without-spying-on-them lang: en --- # How do I monitor my kids’ online activities without spying on them? **Q. My child resists all of my attempts to keep an eye on her online behavior. How can I protect her when I don’t really know what she’s doing?** **A. **It’s tough. Kids consider their online accounts and digital devices to be their own personal property. They can password-protect their phones. They download apps you can’t access and refuse to friend you on Facebook. Most kids use this stuff responsibly. Having grown up in a world with unprecedented access to media and technology, many kids are incredibly sophisticated users. Still, their technical savvy often far exceeds their judgment. As parents, it’s our responsibility to set rules and establish consequences for misuse. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution for how to supervise kids’ online exploits. Every child is different. You want to establish a relationship where your child comes to you if something awkward, inappropriate or uncomfortable happens online. Talking to her nonjudgmentally and getting her to demonstrate the apps and sites she loves shows her that your interest goes beyond policing her activities. Mandatory measures — like demanding kids’ passwords or insisting they friend you on Facebook — tend to backfire. Kids can get around any crackdowns you impose. If you’re really having problems, then look into monitoring programs for their online accounts. And never forget that you’re your kids’ digital role model. So model the kind of behavior you want them to emulate. --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [How to help kids with ADHD manage screen time](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/at-a-glance-helping-kids-with-adhd-manage-screen-time) - It can be extra hard for kids with ADHD to turn off their screens. How can you help kids make healthy technology decisions? Try these tips to manage specific challenges — from spending hours on social media to watching inappropriate videos. - [How to tell if your child is being bullied online](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-to-tell-if-your-child-is-being-bullied-online) - - Online bullying happens for the same reasons as in-person bullying. - Kids with learning and thinking differences are at higher risk of being bullied. - Many kids dont tell their parents about being bullied online. Online bullying is a widespread problem that can happen to anyone. But kids w - [9 ways to protect your child from online predators](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/9-ways-to-protect-your-child-from-online-predators) - All parents need to be concerned about online predators. But kids and teens with learning and thinking differences may be at increased risk. Use these tips to teach your child how to stay safe online. 1. Talk to your child about online predators. 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