--- title: Embracing my dyscalculia made me a better student description: It was hard to accept that I needed help in school with math. But once I did, everything changed. slug: im-a-successful-student-because-i-embrace-my-dyscalculia author: Savannah Treviño-Casias published: '2019-10-16T12:11:39.756Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/5Dye6TF0B7mr4NvgznTTgV/99fe8daf0d0f3ad6d1a4ef2b056d1e60/GEmbracing-my-dyscalculia-made-me-a-better-student.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/im-a-successful-student-because-i-embrace-my-dyscalculia lang: en --- # Embracing my dyscalculia made me a better student As I walked into the Disability Resource Center at Arizona State University, I thought about everything I ’d gone through to get there — the hours of tutoring, relearning years of math, and coming to terms with my learning differences. The building was nearly silent because it was summer and school was out of session. After checking in, I waited to be called into my advisor’s office. I looked around. There were tutoring sign-up sheets, inspirational posters, pamphlets, and flyers stacked and waiting to be taken. It felt surreal sitting there, waiting to meet with my advisor. Meeting with her would help me get the help I needed once I started college. I thought back seven years ago to a time when I wasn’t too keen on getting help. I was 12 and in the sixth grade. It was the day I had been nervously anticipating for weeks: the day I was to be tested for special education services. I had hoped with every bone in my body that I wouldn’t need help. I didn’t want to be “special ed.” To me, getting special education would have meant I was dumb, incapable — that there was no hope for me. At the time, I felt like my trouble with math wasn’t a big deal. I had struggled with math ever since kindergarten and my acceptance of failure had become second nature. When the evaluation results came back I was sitting with my mom — a teacher — and I counted my breaths: One. Two. Three. Then my school’s special education teacher said the words that would change my life: “She will need to receive services; she has a lot of challenges with math.” I looked at my mom and saw a sense of relief on her face. It would take me many years to understand why she felt that way. For the rest of middle school, I struggled to catch up on the years of math I hadn’t learned. All the while my self-esteem dropped lower and lower, and I kept telling myself I didn’t need help. But when high school started, I knew I had to change. I was tired of hating math. I was tired of thinking I was inadequate. Everyone wanted to help me succeed — my mom, my teachers, and my friends. The only person left was myself. I had to see my [dyscalculia](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-dyscalculia) for what it was — something that made me different, but not dumb or less than. Math was hard for me, but it wasn’t impossible. There was nothing wrong with getting extra help.  Every day, I told myself it was OK that I learned at a different pace and in a different way than the other students. I worked my hardest to understand math. And I started to believe in myself. High school brought a lot of challenges, both personal and academic. But I learned to accept my dyscalculia; it has become a part of me and it will always be a part of my life. Years later, as I sat waiting to meet with my college disability advisor, I felt a sense of pride. I had made it through high school. I had become a positive and confident person. With a smile on my face, I walked into my advisor’s office. We discussed the [accommodations and support](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/types-of-college-accommodations-and-services) I needed in college. I felt a huge sense of relief — it was then that I understood what my mom had felt that day when I was evaluated for special education. In the future, I know I’ll have to work smarter and harder than others because of my learning difference. But I also know that I will continue to embrace my dyscalculia as an important part of who I am. --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [How I adapted to big lecture classes in college](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/from-special-education-to-college-how-i-adjusted-to-big-lecture-classes) - For most of my childhood, I attended small public schools. The high school I attended a small all-girls charter school was perfect for me. The classes were about 15 to 20 girls. I had an IEP and special education services for my math learning difference, dyscalculia. My teachers worked with me one-o - [How I got over my fear of AP statistics \(and passed!\)](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-i-got-over-my-fear-of-ap-statistics-and-passed-with-dyscalculia) - Could someone who struggles with math pass AP Statistics? I was about to find out. It was the first day of my senior year of high school, and I was both excited and nervous. That morning, I had a conversation with my math teacher about the class. She knew that I had dyscalculia, a math learning disa - [How self-advocacy helped me fight for my rights in college](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/how-self-advocacy-helped-me-fight-for-my-rights-in-college) - I still remember the classrooms stunned silence that followed his words: Youre a liar. My trigonometry professor was refusing once again to provide accommodations for my math learning disability. He didnt believe I needed things like double time on tests. 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