--- title: My child has ADHD, but don’t call me an “ADHD mom” description: We use “people first” language to talk about kids with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD. Learn why one mom thinks we need “mom first” language, too. slug: my-child-has-adhd-but-dont-call-me-an-adhd-mom author: Amanda Morin published: '2019-10-16T11:53:32.136Z' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/602FF2FE9AC045078CD2AFAB90D0CF32/1860bd3f8ce6e0c4152b4d0c523e7032/471963552.jpg source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/my-child-has-adhd-but-dont-call-me-an-adhd-mom lang: en --- # My child has ADHD, but don’t call me an “ADHD mom” Sometimes people who don’t have kids with learning and thinking differences marvel at what I manage daily. That may sound like a humblebrag, but it’s not. The truth is I don’t manage more than any other mom does. When people tell parents like me, “You ADHD moms are so inspiring,” or “You’re such a Supermom!” I don’t know what to say. We’re really no different from other moms. When I talk about kids who have learning and thinking differences, I choose to use something called “people first” language. It puts the child first and the issue second. I don’t call my younger son “my ADHD child” or say that he *is* ADHD. I say he *has* ADHD. His ADHD doesn’t define who he is. Primarily, he’s just a kid. He loves to laugh with his friends, roll around in the mud and play with toy trucks. The last time someone called me Supermom, I realized we needed to have “mom first” language, too. Primarily, I’m just a mom. I love to laugh with my friends. I get irritated at my son for tracking mud inside. And I try to figure out how I’m going to make it through another session of playing toy trucks. From the outside, our lives may look more hectic to other parents. And it’s true, there’s more to do. I have to be more diligent about making sure the day goes smoothly. I attend IEP meetings. I keep track of appointments with doctors and therapists and I manage [sensory meltdowns](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-difference-between-tantrums-and-meltdowns). Sometimes I make mistakes, even when I’m doing my best. To me, that’s just being a mom. As moms, we all do what we have to do to make sure the kids we have are getting what they need to grow and succeed. That I’m doing what it takes to raise a child with ADHD is, to me, incidental. Experts tell us the best way to praise kids is to praise their effort, not their personal characteristics. It seems to me it should the same for moms. So please don’t call me an “ADHD mom” or a “Supermom” just for having kids with learning and thinking differences. The days when I manage to get three kids out the door in the morning, fed, in clean clothes, with homework, lunch money, and gym clothes in tow — and also remember to show up to chaperone a field trip? Now, *that* takes effort. On those days, feel free to call me Supermom. *Any opinions, views, information and other content contained in blogs on Understood.org are the sole responsibility of the writer of the blog, and do not necessarily reflect the views, values, opinions or beliefs of, and are not endorsed by, Understood.* --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [Double trouble: ADHD moms share what it’s like to parent kids with ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/double-trouble-adhd-moms-share-what-its-like-to-parent-kids-with-adhd) - Parenting with ADHD can be tough — especially when your child has it too. But being an ADHD mom of an ADHD kid also has big advantages. - [Why I had to get beyond shame to help my child with ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/why-i-had-to-get-beyond-shame-in-order-to-help-my-child-with-adhd) - Its been five years since my son was diagnosed with ADHD, but I still sometimes feel like Im spinning around trying to figure things out. Maybe thats because everywhere I turn, someone has an opinion of exactly what I should do. And often, these people with opinions seem more than happy to share wha - [6 things not to say to your child about ADHD](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/adhd-what-not-to-say-to-child) - You want to say things that help and encourage your child. But sometimes, you may make comments that have the opposite effect without even knowing it. Here are six common examples of things not to say to your child with ADHD and what you can say instead. 1. Having ADHD isnt an excuse. The reality: A --- ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/my-child-has-adhd-but-dont-call-me-an-adhd-mom#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/my-child-has-adhd-but-dont-call-me-an-adhd-mom","description":"We use “people first” language to talk about kids with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD. 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