--- title: Why it’s important to support LGBTQIA+ kids with learning differences description: Ryan spent most of his childhood wish that people would accept him for who he was. Read how the supportive adults in his life made a difference. Get tips on how to support kids. slug: supporting-lgbtqia-kids-with-learning-differences author: Ryan Douglass published: '2023-06-01T16:55:39.393Z' date_modified: '2023-06-05T12:00:00.000-05:00' thumbnail: https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/2mJ4WxS3A3jT3hBmGLsE59/6df994e42f323e260edaba7e6d536c9b/G1455470377.png source_url: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/supporting-lgbtqia-kids-with-learning-differences lang: en --- # Why it’s important to support LGBTQIA+ kids with learning differences As a queer person with a learning difference, I often wonder how different my schooling experiences would have been if I’d felt safe being myself. Being queer has become more accepted in society. But that wasn’t the case in the early 2000s. I was frequently teased and bullied. As a kid, I spent so much time trying to fit in. It took time for me to see that it was impossible to change the parts of me that felt “unacceptable.” Having a learning difference on top of my LGBTQ identity added an extra layer of confusion. My peers and even some of my teachers thought that I was less smart because of my executive function challenges. I experienced my gender differently from most of the boys in my class. Both realities made me want to hide from the world and stay silent. So I did.  If someone had told me it was OK to just be *me*, or if I’d been affirmed in my identity sooner, things might have been very different. I would have participated in classes more eagerly. I would have made more friends. And I could have formed a better support system.  Being queer and neurodivergent was difficult for me growing up. But it didn’t have to be so hard. The right support can make a huge difference. Here are three ways you can support queer kids with learning differences: - **Listen closely — and be patient.** Kids aren’t always able to express *why* they feel certain emotions. Asking open-ended questions and helping kids name emotions can help kids organize their thoughts and get to the bottom of difficult feelings. - **Affirm feelings. **You might not automatically understand everything your child is going through, and that’s OK. Validating kids’ feelings, even those that might be confusing (or that might seem overblown) is key to helping your child feel heard. For example you could say “That sounds so hard.” Or “That made you feel really upset.” - **Be a safe space.** It’s even tougher for kids to get to the bottom of what they’re feeling when they don’t feel safe. Kids who are queer and neurodivergent often worry, like I did, that they won’t be accepted. Make sure your child knows that you accept and affirm their whole identity. Sometimes, creating a safe space can be as simple as saying “I love you exactly as you are and I’m here when you need me.” The adults who supported me — and the ones who didn’t — really made a difference in my life. I know firsthand just how important it is for adults to support queer kids with learning differences. Feeling supported and validated not only boosted my self-esteem but also helped me feel confident in my skin. And for me, that’s what mattered the most.  Learn more about [ways to support LGBTQIA+ kids who learn and think differently.](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/support-child-with-adhd-discovering-their-queer-identity) --- ## Explore related topics and articles - [3 tips for talking to kids with ADHD who are discovering their queer identity](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/support-child-with-adhd-discovering-their-queer-identity) - - Young people with ADHD may also identify on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. - Planning ahead can help you to talk with your child about gender, sexuality, and neurodivergence. - Kids with ADHD may benefit from visual tools during these conversations. Many people young and oldwho learn and think diffe - [Talking about neurodivergence and gender identity](https://www.understood.org/en/podcasts/in-it/talking-neurodivergence-gender-identity) - Get tips for supporting gender-expansive kids with learning and thinking differences at home, in school, and with their peers. Many people who learn and think differently are also on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. This can be a lot for kidsand their familiesto navigate. In this episode of In It, Gretchen - [Why “stranger safety” can be tricky for kids who learn and think differently](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/why-stranger-safety-can-be-tricky-for-kids-with-learning-and-thinking-differences) - - Kids with learning and thinking differences may encounter many unfamiliar adults like doctors and therapists so stranger danger lessons may be confusing. - Specific issues like impulsivity and trouble picking up on social cues can make dealing with strangers complicated. - Your child may find d --- ```json [{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/supporting-lgbtqia-kids-with-learning-differences#webpage","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/supporting-lgbtqia-kids-with-learning-differences","description":"Ryan spent most of his childhood wish that people would accept him for who he was. Read how the supportive adults in his life made a difference. Get tips on how to support kids."},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"BreadcrumbList","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"item":{"@id":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/supporting-lgbtqia-kids-with-learning-differences","name":"Why it’s important to support LGBTQIA+ kids with learning differences"}}]},{"@context":"https://schema.org","@type":"Article","datePublished":"2023-06-01T16:55:39.393Z","dateModified":"2023-06-05T12:00:00.000-05:00","description":"Ryan spent most of his childhood wish that people would accept him for who he was. Read how the supportive adults in his life made a difference. Get tips on how to support kids.","headline":"Supporting LGBTQIA kids with learning and thinking differences","url":"https://www.understood.org/en/articles/supporting-lgbtqia-kids-with-learning-differences","publisher":{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https://www.understood.org/#organization","name":"Understood for All Inc","logo":"https://cdn-images.understood.org/p0qf7j048i0q/307jFAYQevghG8nQMCjh89/ccdbbec895765824db43f6d30b496e83/logo_lockup_navy.jpg"}}] ```