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Feeling victimized

At a Glance: Triggers That Can Make Grade-Schoolers Feel Like Victims

By Kate Kelly

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To grade-schoolers with learning and attention issues, it can seem totally unfair that other kids learn and make friends easily. Here are some typical triggers that can make kids feel powerless over their challenges—and ways to help.

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At a Glance: Triggers That Can Make Grade-Schoolers Feel Like Victims
Kids with learning and attention issues might feel as if they don’t have control over their challenges. Here are some common triggers and what you can do to help.

Tough Social Situations
What's happening:
Your child has no one to play with at recess. She sees kids she knows, but isn’t sure how to ask if she can join them. She wishes they’d ask her.
Your child may feel:
Unlikeable. Everyone else makes friends easily, so she thinks there’s something wrong with her. But she doesn’t know what it is or how to fix it.
What you can do:
Rehearse what to say when you want to join a game. Take turns playing the kid who’s being asked, and the kid who wants to join.

Trouble Keeping Up in Class

What’s happening:
During independent reading, all the other students have started chapter books. Your child is still reading picture books.
Your child may feel:
Not as smart as everyone else. She worries that other kids look down on her. As hard as she tries, she still can’t catch up.
What you can do:
Help her understand that she has certai challenges when it comes to reading. Remind her of all the things she’s good at.

Being Singled Out and Scolded
What’s happening:
At a family gathering, your child races across the room and bumps into a relative. The relative loudly says, “You shouldn’t be running in the house!”
Your child may feel:
Picked on. She’s the only one getting yelled at and it’s not fair. She doesn’t even know what she did wrong.
What you can do:
Step in and say what your child may not be able to say: “Sorry about that. She’ll slow down.” Explain to your child why the relative got upset and suggest she apologize later.
Graphic of At a glance: Triggers that make grade-schoolers feel like victims
Graphic of At a glance: Triggers that make grade-schoolers feel like victims

About the Author

Portrait of Kate Kelly

Kate Kelly

Kate Kelly has been writing and editing for more than 20 years, with a focus on parenting.

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Reviewed by Sheldon H. Horowitz, Ed.D. Mar 10, 2014 Mar 10, 2014

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