By Geri Coleman Tucker
Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. If you want to effectively communicate with your child’s teacher, try these sentence starters.
Saying “I’m concerned about my child’s progress in math” is a lot less confrontational than saying, “You need to do more to help my son with math.” Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements can let the teacher know that you want to work together as partners and that you’re not playing the blame game.
Even in moments when you disagree with a teacher, saying “Help me understand” is a constructive way to move a conversation forward. It also makes it clear that you’re listening and engaged.
It’s important to make sure you and the teacher are working toward the same goals. Clarifying those goals is key. It’s also important to emphasize that you share those goals. A good follow-up to this question would be to ask, “Do you have any suggestions for other activities my child could do to work on those skills?”
This is a polite way to share information the teacher might not know. It’s also a good way to ask questions without making the teacher feel defensive.
This phrase allows you to share information and respectfully acknowledge that parents and teachers often see children from different perspectives. For example, you could say, “I’ve noticed my child can retell a story with more detail after she reads it aloud. Are there opportunities for reading aloud during classroom reading instruction?”
Seems and appears are useful words when trying to reach a shared understanding about a child’s strengths and needs. These words allow you to present your take on the situation without making a harmful or incorrect assumption. For example, you could say, “It seems as if my child has a harder time showing what she knows when the worksheets mix operations” or “She appears to not complete homework when the assignments involve multi-part directions.”
This is a good way to ask about accommodations without accusing the teacher of failing to provide them. Remember the goal is to work together. Avoid making assumptions that could damage your relationship.
Teachers have a classroom full of students. These four words let the teacher know you’re willing to play a role in your child’s education rather than just leaving it up to her.
Was your child recently evaluated—either by the school, a private clinic or independent evaluator? It’s important to share the report with your child’s teacher (if the evaluator or your lawyer, if you have one, doesn’t object). Here are suggestions on how to start.
Talking to your child’s teacher about dyslexia is important. It’s the best way for her to understand your child’s challenges, strengths and needs, so she’ll be able to work with your child successfully. Here are eight tips to help you have productive conversations.
Geri Coleman Tucker is a freelance writer and editor and a former deputy managing editor for USA Today.
Bob Cunningham, M.A., Ed.M.
Download: 3×3 Card to Help Teachers Get to Know Your Child
9 Tips for Talking to Your Child’s Teacher About Executive Functioning Issues
8 Tips for Talking to Your Child’s Teacher About Dyslexia
At a Glance: Anatomy of an Effective Email to Your Child’s Teacher
9 Tips for Improving Your Relationship With Your Child’s Teacher
8 Conversation Starters for Discussing Social and Emotional Concerns With Teachers
Learn how she found her talent and took it all the way to an Olympic gold.
When your child goes off to college, will her accommodations from high school go with her?
Dr. Sheldon Cooper struggles with social skills—just like this mom’s son.
Jan 18th at 12:00 pm
Sign up for weekly emails with helpful resources for you and your family.
This email is already subscribed to Understood newsletters. If you haven't been receiving anything, add firstname.lastname@example.org to your safe-senders list.
Name must have no more than 50 characters. Email address must be valid. Email message must have no more than 140 characters and cannot include the < > / \ special characters. Please fill out all fields to send a message.
Don’t worry—we saved what you wrote.
Sign up to get personalized recommendations and connect with parents and experts in our community.
Only members can view and participate in conversations.
Child’s nickname is private and only you can see it.