By Geri Coleman Tucker
You want the best for your child, and sometimes you and the teacher may disagree. But too much friction could impact your child. Use these tips to improve your relationship with your child’s teacher.
Let the teacher give her perspective without interrupting her. Ask questions if you need clarification, and make sure your understanding is correct. The more respectful you are of her point of view, the more likely she will respond in kind. A good entry point for the discussion can be listing what you and the teacher agree and disagree on. This can bring clarity and align both of you toward the common goal of helping your child.
If you disagree with the teacher’s comments, respectfully point out the facts that support your point of view. Try to focus on data, such as test scores, work samples or observations.
If you have concerns, voice them calmly, without personal attacks. Say, “I didn’t know that my daughter hadn’t turned in homework for the last month. I didn’t know that until I saw her report card.” That can be more constructive than saying, “Why weren’t you sending me reports that she wasn’t turning in her work?” Perhaps best of all is to make your child the subject of your sentences. Doing this can help you be less emotional.
Sip some water. Count to five. Do whatever you need to do to avoid losing your cool.
Be open to the teacher’s suggestions for what may help and how to remedy the problem. Do your own research too. For example, if you’ve read about software you think might help, politely ask the teacher for her opinion about it. In addition to researching methods and materials, find out more about your child’s rights. The goal isn’t to be combative, but to use your knowledge to push for the services and supports your child needs.
Consider writing your thoughts down before meeting with the teacher. This might keep you from forgetting what you want to say and how you want to say it. Prioritize your concerns, and be respectful of the teacher’s time. Try not to be late to the meeting or expect it to go on longer than the allocated time.
When the teacher makes an extra effort, show your appreciation. Send her an email or call to thank her.
Writing the teacher a follow-up note can help you process what was discussed during your meeting while clarifying next steps and takeaways. Sending an email also provides a record of what you discussed in case you need that information at a later date.
If nothing improves, meet with the principal or the child’s study team leader. The principal may be able to help ease tensions. Be calm and respectful with her, too.
If your child misinterprets social cues or misses them altogether, he might have trouble making friends. Your child’s teacher could be a valuable asset on this front. Here are ways the teacher can help.
When your child has executive functioning issues or ADHD (the impairment of executive functions), it’s important to talk with his teacher. If the teacher knows what your child struggles with and how he learns best, it can have a big impact on how well the school year goes. Here are tips for explaining these issues to teachers.
Geri Coleman Tucker is a freelance writer and editor and a former deputy managing editor for USA Today.
Virginia Gryta, M.S.
Jan 04, 2014
Jan 04, 2014
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