Parenting Coach

Practical ideas for social, emotional and behavioral challenges

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Help your child bounce back.

What you can do

Help your child understand that being criticized or rejected is part of life. Point out that other kids have the right to make choices, just as your child does. This means that sometimes your child might not get picked for the team or invited to a birthday party—and that other kids go through this too.

When disappointment occurs, let your child know you understand her sadness or frustration. Give an example of something disappointing that happened to you. Express optimism about the future. Try not to pity or overprotect your child. Instead, encourage her to get back in the saddle. Help her prepare for the next time.

What you can say

“Sofia, I know you’re really upset about not being invited to Charlotte’s party. It’s OK to feel that way. I’d be upset, too. When I was your age, I wasn’t invited to every party.”

“One time, I decided to ask another kid who wasn’t invited if she wanted to have a sleepover. We gave each other manicures and had lots of fun. Do you have any ideas about what you might want to do instead on Saturday?”

Why this will help

Disappointments are a part of growing up. It’s hard to watch your child suffer when things don’t go her way. But teaching her how to bounce back can turn a negative experience into a positive one. It can help build resilience that will be useful for the rest of her life.

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