Why some kids have trouble making friends

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  • Quick tip 1

    Pinch-hit as a playmate.

    If a child is lonely, offer to play. Choose something both of you enjoy, like doing a puzzle or going on a hike. Try to get others, like friends and family, to pinch-hit as playmates too.

  • Quick tip 2

    Go to a playground.

    Some kids have trouble making friends because they haven’t had a chance to make them. Head to a local playground. Throw a ball around or play a game, and see if others join.

  • Quick tip 3

    Find new kids to meet.

    Sometimes, kids get stuck in a rut in their own neighborhood. Offer a fresh start by introducing them to new kids. Try a library, a park, or another spot you haven’t been to.

  • Quick tip 4

    Make friends online.

    Some kids find it easier to make friends while playing online video games or on social media. Make sure to monitor what kids do online so it’s safe.

  • Quick tip 5

    Join the daily “lunch bunch.”

    Most schools have a daily lunch group of kids, either in person or virtual, hosted by a teacher to jump-start friendships.

Why do some kids not have friends? This can be a painful question to ask. When kids aren’t invited places or don’t have anyone to hang out with, it can be hard not to wonder — and worry.

Making and keeping friends is a skill. Some kids develop it naturally at a young age, while others need more time. In some cases, kids simply haven’t met anyone they can connect with.

Different challenges can also get in the way. Some kids get too nervous or anxious to talk to others. Some can start a conversation, but they have trouble coming up with things to talk about. Or they might talk about something other kids aren’t interested in, without noticing the other kids tuning out.

When kids struggle with making friends, it might not have anything to do with their personality. It also doesn’t mean that a child isn’t likeable or funny. It may just mean the child needs a hand building social skills. 

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