How to manage behavior problems in young kids

Expert reviewed by Mark J. Griffin, PhD
Quick tips for handling out-of-control behavior
- Quick tip 1Use a quiet voice.Use a quiet voice.
Turn down the temperature by staying calm and not getting angry yourself. Speak in a steady, almost monotone voice.
It’s not uncommon for young kids to lose control of their behavior. That doesn’t make it any easier to deal with it, though. Frequent outbursts can be overwhelming and upsetting — both for the adults around them and for kids themselves.
Kids develop self-control over time, and some take longer than others. In the meantime, there are ways to teach and encourage self-control.
- Manage your own emotions and behavior when kids act out. Staying calm helps you think about the best way to handle the situation. And it gives kids the chance to collect themselves so you can talk about what happened.
- Help kids learn from your example — both in the moment and over time. Talk about other situations where you’ve been frustrated or angry and what you did to stay calm and solve the problem.
- Find out what’s causing the behavior. Kids act out for all kinds of reasons. Knowing why it’s happening lets you give them the support they need.
Dive deeper
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About the author

About the author
Gretchen Vierstra, MA is the managing editor at Understood and co-host of the “In It” podcast. She’s a former educator with experience teaching and designing programs in schools, organizations, and online learning spaces.
Reviewed by

Reviewed by
Mark J. Griffin, PhD has been a professional in the field of learning disabilities for over 45 years. He was the founding headmaster of Eagle Hill School.