Why some kids get overexcited
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By Kate Kelly
Expert reviewed by Molly Algermissen, PhD
Quick tips for managing overexcitement in kids
- Quick tip 1Check if it’s excitement or overexcitement.Check if it’s excitement or overexcitement.
Excitement and enthusiasm are great to see in kids. But when kids get overexcited, they can make people around them uncomfortable. They may get emotional or overwhelmed, and they can have a hard time calming down.
- Quick tip 2Use the three R’s: recognize, read, and respond.Use the three R’s: recognize, read, and respond.
Calming overexcited kids requires some detective work. Start by recognizing when kids are getting overexcited, reading what cues could have tipped you off, and finding ways to respond the next time you see the cues.
- Quick tip 3Encourage kids to look for it themselves.Encourage kids to look for it themselves.
When kids are overexcited, they may not recognize that they’re reacting inappropriately. Encourage kids to monitor themselves to see if they’re being extra loud, if their bodies feel tense, and if other kid are moving away from them.
- Quick tip 4Agree on a secret gesture or word.Agree on a secret gesture or word.
Have a signal that you can use to let kids know when it’s time to calm down and switch gears. For instance, you could snap your fingers twice to remind kids to switch from an outdoor voice to an indoor voice.
If you’ve ever been to a 4-year-old’s birthday party, you know that getting super-excited is something young kids do. They race around, shout, and push because they just can’t help themselves. You don’t usually see much of that behavior at a 10-year-old’s party. Still, there are kids who have trouble containing their excitement even at that age.
Some kids are naturally excitable, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. They’re curious, energetic, optimistic, and fun. Other kids may like being around them.
Once kids get overexcited, though, it can have the opposite effect. They may say or do things that are over the top. Other kids might think they’re “annoying” or “embarrassing” to be around. They may be left out or bullied and teased because they're different.
Kids need self-control to keep their excitement in check. They don’t all develop this skill at the same rate, though. So there can be a big difference in ability in the early years.
Many kids with ADHD struggle with self-control. They can also have trouble switching gears from one situation to the next.
Sensory processing challenges can also lead kids to getting overexcited. They get overwhelmed by input that comes in through their senses, which can make them overexcited.
Dive deeper
Signs of overexcitement
Overexcitement looks different in different situations. For example, in school, some kids can’t wait to be called on. They keep waving their hand and calling out, even when others are speaking. Kids who get overexcited may also:
Gush over things
Take over conversations
Talk about something endlessly
Interrupt people and speak out of turn
Get too physical
Be overly confident and optimistic
Be unrealistic about their talents and abilities
Overreact to both bad events and good ones
These behaviors can be signs of ADHD. Learn more about signs of ADHD at different ages and the connection between ADHD and sensory overload.
Next steps
No matter what’s making kids overexcited, there are ways to help. Start by celebrating all the strengths behind kids’ overexcitement, like enthusiasm and energy. That’s part of what makes kids great. Then work on strategies to help kids keep excitement under control.
You can also learn about apps to help younger and older kids build self-control.