How to help build self-esteem during challenging times

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  • Quick tip 1

    Reframe negative thoughts and statements.

    It’s easy to focus on the negative, so reframe it as positive. “Reading is too hard” can become, “Yes, reading is hard. I’ll work on a plan to get better at it.”

  • Quick tip 2

    Give feedback, not criticism.

    Talk about challenges in a motivating way that doesn’t make someone feel bad. Instead of, “Why did you leave the kitchen such a mess?” say, “The dishes are still in the sink. How about we watch TV after you wash them?”

  • Quick tip 3

    Praise the effort.

    Point out how someone approached tackling a challenge. It helps them learn that they’re capable of overcoming obstacles. Specific praise is key to building positive self-esteem.

  • Quick tip 4

    Talk openly about challenges.

    When someone is struggling with self-esteem, talk about things you find challenging and work to overcome. Acknowledging your own challenges helps others open up about theirs.

Self-esteem is how much people value themselves and how important they believe they are in their world. Developing positive self-esteem is important for everyone. But it can be harder for people who learn and think differently. 

That’s because self-esteem is tied to how capable we feel. People who learn and think differently often have to work harder to make progress in school and at work. They may struggle socially, too.

It can be hard to talk to someone about the things they need to get better at. But addressing those topics clearly can actually help them develop self-esteem.

Self-esteem comes from working hard toward a goal. Positive self-esteem comes from recognizing your efforts, finding your strengths, and knowing that mistakes are learning opportunities. Over time, people can learn to improve how they view and value themselves.

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