I’m a seasoned brand consultant who was diagnosed with ADHD 60 years ago. Here’s how I balance productivity with peace.

Emily is a brand ID consultant of 40+ years. She was diagnosed with ADHD twice — first at age 6 and again at 30. Now 68, she wants to encourage others. She’s an ADHD veteran who loves her “race car” brain and knows how to use it.

5:30 a.m. I wake up without my alarm. A good start, even though I stayed up too late tidying four days’ worth of piles I’ve made. I use that as a method and call it “lateral progress” if I accomplish that set of piles in a week. But there are far more piles than usual, and we’re having a guest for dinner tonight. I needed to clear the dining table!

6:00 a.m. Best morning routine: “Rise, Pee, Mat.” Which means get up, stop by the bathroom, then go directly to my yoga mat. Today I do my minimum five salutations, then meditate for 15 minutes. 

Still on the mat, I re-read a favorite old New Yorker article by John McPhee, titled “Structure.” I reflect on my long experience with ADHD and my use of structure. I’m good at it. Structure of all kinds is my friend. 

10:30 a.m. Well into day job priorities. Sticky notes are all over my desk. Today I also note a lack of focus — a recent pattern. I stop work to write the two thank-you notes I want to mail today. This is my only window for it. I pop them into the mailbox at 10:58.

11:00 a.m. Telehealth meeting with my counselor. I report the volume of piles and lack of focus during my work day. She listens for 20 minutes and stops me. “Your meds are clearly not working. Let’s look at ways to ramp up structure during your work day and find out what’s going on with the brain chemistry.” She gives me a serious face: “Look into it?” I agree, I will.

12:05 p.m. A text: “Are you hopping on?” Oops! I didn’t check my calendar and am late for a weekly team huddle with trusted partners. No problem. We do this kind of reminding for each other. 

12:45 p.m. I spend the next hour transferring all the sticky notes on my desk into my notebook. I return to a day job task, get it done, and email it to partners for proofing.

3:00 p.m. I leave my desk to begin prep for dinner at home with a good friend. I’m very focused compared to this morning. It pays off, and I’m ready for company on time. Good job.

5:30 p.m. We sit down to a cozy dinner with our dear friend. We’re having a great conversation about ideas and dreams, until I interrupt my hubby with a humorous quip. Oops, sorry! He takes offense and is grumpy the rest of the evening, another pattern and a negative one. Our friend knows us well. We exchange knowing glances and carry on the conversation.

8:00 p.m. Rather than process the quip-spat tonight, I go out for a solo walk and sleep in a different room. Waiting until morning is good relationship policy. Another good policy is this: Do not date, partner with, or marry anyone who is unsympathetic, negative, or patronizing about ADHD.

10:30 p.m. As I drift off, I reflect: If I’d had a more harmonious marriage, what would we both have done with all that extra life energy?

3:00 a.m. O’Gawd, I can’t sleep. I pick up my phone, nooo! I read a political blog, nooo! I feel the flow of cortisol. Or maybe it’s residual, from last night. 

4:30 a.m. Still up, still reading….

8:00 a.m. I half-wake. Out the window, deep winter. Every branch covered with fluff. Now and then, a fluff falls. Another. 

This peace sends me to the poem that I’d like read when I die — “The Summer Day,” by Mary Oliver. I imagine myself in the poem, strolling a grassy meadow. I sit down in the grass, I observe a grasshopper, whose jaws move sideways as it eats. I’ve been strolling this meadow all day. What else should I be doing? 

I do know how to either stroll a meadow or employ structure. If I can’t find balance, too much structure prevails. Too much pressure to work — to get just one more thing done — has me on the hook all day long. 

9:00 a.m. Coffee with hubby. I apologize for interrupting last night. He apologizes for acting out. He explains, “Sometimes I forget to have my own dreams and then pursue them.” As I listen I realize that I’m not pursuing my dreams either.

9:30 a.m. A good, focused day. First, I set three priorities that must get done. My smartwatch helps me stay focused in short 30- to 90-minute bursts. In between, I drink water, get up and move, just look up, or stretch my arms up high. On Zoom calls, I coach myself using the sticky notes near my screen: “Calm down. No blurting. Be present.” I eat lunch, then I go outside, take a walk, take a breath, and make calls to family. By afternoon I have less focus, so I do smaller tasks like write thank-yous or connect with colleagues. 

5:00 p.m. The day went mostly as planned. I finished the report; made a rough layout of my next project; called CPA about tax prep, dug into it. At the end of each work day, I smile about The Dids, and try not to “should-upon-myself” about The Didn’ts.

6:00 p.m. Dinner. Meet friends for a Talking Heads dance party, good for the soul!

11:00 p.m. Time for bed. As I drift off, I reflect: If I were pursuing a dream, what would I have done differently today? What will I do tomorrow to take my dream, and myself, seriously? 

5:45 a.m. I’m on the mat longer than usual. I have two meetings today. I add extra focus and balance postures. I meditate for 30 minutes. Awareness zazen. Eyes open.

8:00 a.m. At desk, game face on. Today my three priorities are: 1) Send yesterday’s layout with rationale; 2) Prep for tomorrow’s event; 3) Network with a new community peer. 

10:30 a.m. I allow 30 minutes to prepare for an authentic conversation with someone new. I read up about my guest. I review my best-convo-behavior reminders: “Listen x3. Reflect back. Ask questions. Think, then speak. Keep the me-portion short.” 

As I prepare, I know my challenge in business is that I talk too much, and I speak before thinking. My BFF shared a great phrase once: “Is what you are about to say really better than silence?” 

11:00 a.m. I welcome my guest. He is general manager of a beloved local radio station. They have challenges: new competition, aging audience, identity confusion. He’s a smart guy with a calm demeanor. He interviews people for a living. But I need to bring him out, and then I need to offer one to three insightful observations. I’m glad I reviewed my list.

We talk for an hour. We do connect, I do listen well. When I did talk, I think I was helpful. But I won’t know unless I ask him, which I calendar for next week.

12:30 p.m. I need to prep for the next meeting, so I skip lunch. (Bad! Well, I know I’m not bad, but bad idea!) To my 11 a.m. behavioral reminders list I add the phrase: “Three and then me.” AKA always let three other people speak before I do. Then I add one more. Yesterday my husband observed a bad behavior of mine: “You make a good point. Then, you keep talking.” So noted. 

1:30 p.m. I arrive almost on time. Today is set up for tomorrow’s event. The topic is critically important. Our set-up includes a detailed run-through of three rounds of group breakout work. Because our team is composed well — different brains, temperaments, experience, and skills — we nail it!

3:30 p.m. We pack up and walk out of the venue together. In the car, I reflect: What was each person’s experience of me today? What is my impact on others? What can I do to be more aware of the quality of my presence? 

3:45 p.m. On my way back, I knock out two household stops. I keep an errand basket by the door. All week, I toss sticky note reminders into it. That way, when I’m ready to run errands, it’s easy to grab. 

4:30 p.m. Back at desk. I do last emails and return a few calls. Then I set up next week’s goals and Monday’s three priorities. Finally, I confirm any appointments I have on Monday, and I’m done. 

5:50 p.m. It’s Friday! It has been snowing all week. I head to a ski store to rent a new type of snow-shoe-ski. Tomorrow, I’ll be gliding through a meadow, covered in deep fluffy snow. I can’t wait for some outdoor time!

…Ah, but that’s for another diary, a weekend off-the-hook diary. That’s for another day.

Listen to Emily share more details about her ADHD in this episode of Climbing the Walls, an investigative podcast about women and ADHD.