I’m a voice actor with ADHD. Here’s how I manage work and life at home with five kids.

Welcome to “The ADHDiaries,” the series where women with ADHD share 72 hours of their lives with us. The good, the bad, the messes, and successes. And how they do — or don’t — get it done.

The ADHDiaries. A planner, a calendar, a clock, and a calculator.

Aleesha Bake, 44, is a voice actor navigating life as a working mom with ADHD. She lives in Raleigh, North Carolina, with her husband and five kids, ages 8 to 20. Aleesha hosts the podcast, The Story of Her.

6:00 a.m. My husband is out of bed and getting ready for work. I didn’t sleep well because my brain wouldn’t shut up, so I’m clinging to the bed like it’s a lifeboat.

7:30 a.m. I wake suddenly, remembering that this school year, my 8-year-old son’s bus comes at 8:00 instead of 8:30. I find him downstairs watching TV. I feel horrible that I didn’t hear him, and my mom guilt kicks in. We chat about how he needs to come and get me when he wakes up, and I remind him that TV isn’t how we start our day. I tell myself to figure out how to set a password on the TV. But if I don’t write it down, I won’t remember. I forget to write it down.

8:00 a.m. We manage to get to the bus on time and remember his ADHD medication. This feels like a huge win. I have a hard time remembering his meds because of my own ADHD. I hug him tight, and he jumps on the bus excited for his first day back at school. 

8:18 a.m. I come home, and my dirty kitchen is calling. It always is. I feel overwhelmed, but I ignore it and head to my backyard studio. I have auditions due by 9 a.m., but on the way to the studio, I notice that the figs need to be picked and the chickens need water. Normally, I would get distracted by this. But my meds help me prioritize. I give the chickens water and decide the figs can wait.

9:01 a.m. I submit an audition to my agent with an apology for being late. I should have had plenty of time, but ADHD overthinking won today.

11:35 a.m. My 20-year-old starts a new semester today, and we’re discussing his classes when I remember I have a CT scan at noon. I’m choosing to be grateful that my disorganized brain remembered it at all. 

11:40 a.m. As I get in the car, I check my calendar for the address and realize it’s 30 minutes away. I panic and check the patient portal. Phew! I’ve written it in my calendar wrong. It is across town, but it’s at 12:20, so I’m saved by my own error today. But I arrive at the wrong address because I was distracted. I have to get back in the car and drive next door.

12:25 p.m. I have to drink contrast before the scan and sit in the waiting room for an hour, so of course, I make friends with the lady next to me. My ADHD came with a side of chatty.

7:00 p.m. The contrast made me sick, which makes my ADHD disorganization even worse. But I manage to get everyone picked up on time. My husband has to take my 8-year-old to buy school supplies, because I forgot, and I’m too sick to go. I forget things a lot, and he doesn’t really complain, but I still feel like a failure. I fold laundry to try to feel like I’m not useless. It doesn’t help.

10:00 p.m. I go to bed on time, but I stay awake most of the night thinking of all the things I need to do. 

6:30 a.m. I’m up because I need to pick figs before it gets hot. I pick a few, make breakfast for the little guy, and barely get him to the bus on time. As he’s climbing on the bus, I realize that I forgot his meds and snack. I know the teacher has backup snacks, but I feel like a failure! It’s the second day of school, and I’ve already forgotten both. We had systems in place last year to avoid this, but I’ve gotten out of the habit.

9:00 a.m. I talk my daughter into picking figs and my son into installing the part in my broken freeze dryer that came last night, so I can preserve the figs. With five of the seven people in our family medicated for ADHD and anxiety — and with autoimmune issues — we grow and preserve a lot of our food to try to eliminate processed food and added ingredients. But it’s a lot of extra work.

11:20 a.m. I have to run an errand and remember to stop for milk on the way home. I get to the register and discover my wallet is missing. I have no idea where it is and feel like an idiot. After searching the car and calling my son to hunt for my wallet, I use Apple Pay. Even though my forgetful brain annoys me, I’m going to count it as a win that I remembered the milk. I head home and start washing and prepping the figs for the freezer.

1:00 p.m. The freeze dryer is still broken because a part wasn’t right. I have to spend hours negotiating with customer service. I’m in an ADHD hyperfocus that’s hard for me to get out of. I want the problem solved, and everything else disappears while I try to solve it.

4:45 p.m. Barely made the bus! We leave to go pick my daughter up. My son talks on the way, and I learn he had a good day even without his meds, because it was a fun day with lots of movement. I’m grateful for his new teacher, because this would not have been the case last year. 

6:00 p.m. We make dinner, then I start a virtual meeting for church — all while trying to get my littlest in bed. I have to keep muting my mic because he keeps coming back downstairs. The meeting runs long, and I feel like I didn’t contribute as much as I wanted to because my brain is all over the place. My husband doesn’t get home from work until 10:00. I miss him when days are busy like this.

6:15 a.m. I get up earlier today because I want to see my husband’s face for more than 10 seconds. But we go right into the morning routines, and I barely get a second kiss as he’s headed out the door. The little guy and I make breakfast and get to the bus on time. He reminded me to get his meds, and we even remembered his snack. Mornings go better when I get up earlier. But I’m tired all day when I do.

8:00 a.m. I’m chatting with the neighbor at the bus stop and remember I have a doctor’s appointment. I frantically check my phone, but it’s not until 9:00. I rush home to get my auditions submitted and to check in with my college student before he goes to class.

9:00 a.m. I chat with the doctor about my meds. Finding the right meds feels like a roller coaster. I want to handle life without them, yet they make things so much more manageable. She also prescribes a sleep aid, but I’m nervous. I don’t like the side effects, but I do need to sleep better.

10:00 a.m. I’m in and out of the studio until noon — with a little work and a lot of scrolling.

12:20 p.m. I decide to dye my hair. No, this wasn’t planned. I’m tired of the faded gray look and just want a change.

2:00 p.m. I’m still working, and my 14-year-old makes some cookies. I’m not supposed to be eating sugar, but just one won’t hurt, right? The impulse control I had in the morning when I took my meds is GONE.

6:15 p.m. I’m in the studio, and I forget to make dinner. I feed the kids leftovers. 

7:00 p.m. My husband is late again, so I have to get the girls to a church activity. I stop at the grocery store for steak on the way home, so at least he can have a nice dinner.

7:15 p.m. I get home, gather tools, and start to build a roosting bar in my neighbor’s chicken coop. I’ve been promising to build it, but I keep forgetting. As I come home hot and sweaty, I remind myself to say “no” more often. But I know I won’t.

8:15 p.m. My husband comes home and tells me he doesn’t want dinner. I’ve been waiting to cook so I could eat with him, so I’m grumpy. I eat cereal, but I wanted steak.

9:00 p.m. We finally have a few minutes together and watch a show we both usually enjoy. It’s a slow episode, and I’m bored. Why can’t I even watch a TV show without needing to be on my phone?

10:00 p.m. We try to talk, but he’s tired and falls asleep before we can even say much at all. I lie there awake right next to him, and I still miss him. We’ll plan a date night later in the week, but for now, we’re just getting through it — one little bit of beautiful chaos at a time. 


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