5 ways to make the afterschool routine smoother for kids who learn and think differently

Making the transition from school or afterschool activities to home may not seem like a big deal. But for many kids who learn and think differently, that adjustment isn’t easy. Executive function problems, fatigue, stress, and even hunger can all get in the way of a smooth transition.

Having an afterschool routine — and sticking to it — can help, no matter what your child’s schedule is. Here are some simple tips for creating a routine that works for your child.

1. Make sure the routine fits.

Routines are bound to fail if they don’t fit with a child’s schedule and needs. Be realistic. If your child gets home from practice at 6 p.m., and dinner is at 6:30, forcing homework in between may set you both up for a useless, stressful argument.

2. Make it visible.

Write down the routine (or use a picture schedule for younger kids) and put it somewhere at home that’s very visible. You can also walk through it if your child takes in spoken information better than written. Older kids who have smartphones can add their schedules there.

3. Be partners in the routine.

If you give your child some ownership of their plan, you’re more likely to get buy-in. Create the routine together. Make sure your child knows that it needs to be followed, but it’s not set in stone. 

Things may come up that require exceptions. Or your child may feel that something isn’t working. Encourage your child to bring up problems or make suggestions about the routine. These discussions can help your child develop self-advocacy skills and speak up for what they need.

4. Start with downtime.

By the time the afterschool routine begins, your child has already put in a long day, working hard to meet the demands of school and activities. Build in time for your child to de-stress and regroup — 15 or 20 minutes — before tackling a new set of expectations at home. 

Having time to switch gears can cut down on anger and frustration. It also allows your child to refuel with a snack and a drink, if dinner isn’t happening immediately.

5. Be detailed and specific. 

Don’t leave it to your child to remember exactly what needs to be done. For example, if chores are part of the routine, write them down specifically — take out the garbage, empty the dishwasher — instead of just “chores.”

Give each chore a slot in the routine. It might be right after dinner or after homework. Include the steps that go into the task if your child has trouble remembering the order of doing things.

Both you and your child need to maintain the routine for it to be successful. Even then, you may experience bumps in the afterschool transition. But having a good routine in place that your child helps to shape can make a big difference.