Tips from an ADHD Coach: Changing careers often

Have you changed careers or academic interests multiple times in your life? Do you find yourself thinking this next job is going to be the one that sticks, only to discover that you’re just as unhappy and unfulfilled in that role as all of the others before?

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye explains how ADHD can nudge many of us to jump from job to job, and career to career. 

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org 

• ADHD burnout

• 5 ways ADHD can affect you at work

(00:42) Taylor’s quote

(02:45) Why ADHDers might have a long list of past college majors and jobs

(05:57) The burnout to quitting cycle

(08:58) What can we do about this? 

(12:57) Recap

Jaye: Have you changed careers or academic interests multiple times in your life? Do you find yourself thinking "This next job is gonna be the one that sticks," only to discover that you're just as unhappy and unfulfilled in that role as all of the others before?

This is "Tips from the ADHD Coach," and I'm your coach, Jaye Lin. Today we're talking about how ADHD can nudge many of us to jump from job to job and career to career. We're gonna hear from Taylor, who shared with us her experiences with career hopping.

Taylor: I have done everything from being a receptionist, to being a bank teller, to being an engineer's assistant, to being an underwater children's photographer, to being in newspaper delivery girl, to being a dance teacher. And now I am in an acting and modeling career. And that seems to be the thing that sticks because I'm able to do different personas, different personalities, different career types in my acting. And that keeps me interested enough in the long term, and gives me enough diversity that I don't have to get bored.

Because when I was doing the engineer's assistant, like I loved it. I got to go and like scan all these documents and sign off on things and I felt very official. I felt like a true adult. But then after a couple of weeks, I was like, "Oh, sitting at this desk all the time is just absolutely killing me." And then I was more interested in hanging out with the other engineers when they would go and like test the structures and like their testing lab. And that was more exciting to me. And then my job became a bit dull and a bit yuck. So, that's why I wasn't able to stick with that.

Dancing was also a really great career field and the underwater children's photography was also really great because it was always moving, always changing, but again, it just takes so much energy out of you. I would have to compromise a lot on it was like my energy and then my time with friends because I would just get so sucked into whatever I was doing at work. Whenever I would try to go and do like a nine-to-five or something that was like really steady with like a steady schedule and a steady income, I was always like, "Yes, I can do it. I can be a part of society."

And be responsible and not be lazy, as my parents always claimed, like lazy and daydreaming. And so, when none of those careers were working out, it really hurt my self-confidence. I was like, "I'm never gonna be good with money. I'm never gonna be reliable on a job." It was hard because that's not how I felt I should exist in the world. I was losing trust in myself. I was, like, "Why can't I just show up at a job for a year? Why is it so hard to just stick at one place for one year without wanting to go and do something else or throw myself off the handle?"

Jaye: A lot of the many ADHD people I know have long lists of past college majors and jobs, including me. Most of them casually dismiss it by saying they just lose interest in things when the dopamine of novelty wears off, but it's a lot more complicated than that. A lot of Taylor's listed jobs are entry-level roles and creative ventures that capitalize on the impressive skills she naturally has without a lot of extra schooling or certifications. For those of us whose ADHD made it harder to get top grades in school and get into competitive fields, we can end up pursuing whatever job we think we're capable of getting instead of being more intentional with what career we want to go into.

While we're brainstorming jobs that we can score with the skills we already have, just like when we brainstorm anything, we get a big wave of dopamine, and we want to keep riding that wave. This, paired potentially with ADHD impulsivity, makes it more likely for us to drop whatever it is we're currently doing and dive headfirst into that new career. But while we're in the dopamine zone of brainstorming, we don't tend to think about all the parts of the job we wouldn't like, since that doesn't feel good or get us more dopamine.

Dreaming about how this new job will change our lives is not so different from dreaming about a new crush being our forever person. ADHD makes it really easy to over fantasize about how great a new job would be and then later over fixate on how that new job isn't actually making us happier or more fulfilled. This isn't just limited to brainstorming quickly attainable jobs. I know a lot of ADHD folk who were able to get through really grueling competitive academic programs like law school or Juilliard, then find themselves unhappy in that career field they'd worked so hard to prove themselves for.

We get a lot of dopamine when we're going after extremely tough but attainable challenges, especially when the process gives us constant pings of dopamine at signals that we might be able to pull it off, like getting a good grade on a midterm or landing a solo in the dance recital. After graduating from those programs, sometimes our adrenaline and dopamine levels can drop off. Even if the career field remains competitive, it's rare that a job requires the intensity of being that focused all day.

That drop in dopamine can make it feel like being in that career field is boring or unfulfilling when it might just be the adrenaline and dopamine settling into a more reasonable level. If the road to that career was exhausting and full of sacrifices, it's also possible for us to be in burnout, but not notice the effects until those stimulation levels drop. And since burnout mimics the symptoms of depression and general loss of interest, it's common for people in those situations to conclude that this career is crushing their soul, and their depression will get worse unless they get out now.

Speaking of that burnout-to-quitting cycle, we tend to be generally more prone to that. A lot of us start that new job with a bang, fueled with excitement, interest, opportunity, and of course, dopamine. We tend to start off with a lot of sustained focus and actually want to work longer hours to nail that first project or learn how something works.

I've been there, and when people tell me to chill out and pace myself, I don't listen to them because I don't want to. It feels good for me to overdo it at the start, but that excitement and dopamine wear off over time, and there's a high pressure, demand even, for me to continue producing results at that quality and speed. This can lead to a lot of stress and working longer and longer hours until I'm burned out. And I conclude that this job is crushing my soul, and I need to get out.

A lot of ADHD people I know resonate with that cycle of going too hard in the beginning and then burning out. They say that in their next job, they will maintain a better work-life balance, but most of the time, they don't because they tend to find themselves in the same excited, dopamine-fueled state when they start their next jobs. This is especially the case when switching to an entirely different career field, which can happen a lot more often with us due to all-or-nothing thinking and emotional dysregulation.

If we feel depressed and burned out in our current role, it's common for us to seek out an entirely different field because our current field makes us feel bad. But going into a new field is super exciting. So, the cycle repeats. I've noticed that when researching new careers to jump into, a lot of us will brainstorm what jobs are the opposite of the things we don't like about our current jobs.

So, maybe Taylor gravitated toward that engineer's assistant job because it felt more adult and official because she didn't get that same level of respect as an underwater children's photographer. She didn't like sitting at a desk all day, so I'm guessing her next job was something that didn't have a desk. But while starting over in new careers all the time can be exciting and get us dopamine, it can also mean we're always in entry-level roles, which tends to be lower in pay and higher in pressure to establish ourselves.

Constantly changing jobs can also mean we're constantly draining our savings and have big chunks of time when finances are tight. Job instability can be a huge hit to our self-esteem. And for those of us with family members and friends who like to boldly share their opinions about our career choices, it can make gathering with the people we love at least a little annoying. For that reason, most of the people I know who are stuck in this cycle really wanna get out of it. And are hoping one of the next things they try will be the Goldilocks career that sticks.

So, what can we do if we're constantly changing jobs, careers, and academic interests? How do we find that Goldilocks career? First things first, there is no perfect Goldilocks career. A lot of ADHD people I know assume that they would do best working for themselves because they don't like having a boss. And then find it hard to get things done when there isn't urgency and accountability. Or they think they would do best in a creative role because they're passionate about creating art, dancing, acting, etc. Then find that a lot of these creative jobs come with a ton of administrative work.

So many proposals, filling out forms, emails, billing, so much billing. And oftentimes doing creative work as a job means we don't actually have a lot of creative freedom, which takes away a lot of the interest and dopamine we get doing it. So, then what? What careers can people with ADHD be successful in? This is never the answer anyone wants, but all of them. There are a lot of jobs that can be a good fit if approached intentionally. Instead of looking at what doesn't work for us in each job, I like to ask my clients what has worked for them in each of their previous jobs, then use those insights to be intentional about career choices.

Taylor says acting is working for her because it's a new challenge every day with a variety of situations and skills for her to navigate. She didn't like sitting at a desk all day as an engineer's assistant, but did love the feeling of having a more official job. Her word, not mine. She did say that she enjoyed tagging along for testing in the field and in the lab, and I'm curious why she left her job entirely instead of seeing if she could transition into a role that did more hands-on work.

I think this is one of the best ways for us to build a sustaining career, even with a constant desire for novelty and new challenges. See if we can build in those new challenges where we're already working. If the job is getting stale, you might not need an entirely new career. You might get a boost from taking on a new kind of project, learning a new skill, trying something out. As long as this is done with a sign-off from your boss, tackling a new challenge and skill tends to make you look good come performance review time.

And if you decide you like this new skill and wanna switch roles, if you have the opportunity to do so, changing roles in the same company looks a lot better on your resume than switching everything up entirely. It usually looks better for your bank account, too. And if you have a tendency to go hard at the start of a new job, then burn out afterward when the dopamine level settle, this can be communicated. You don't have to burn out, and you also don't have to toggle it back and swallow your excitement.

There is a third option. I've done it. I've told my boss and other people at work that during the onboarding period, I'm so pumped that I really enjoy being intense with learning how to do everything, trying out new projects, and generally being productive at an unsustainable rate. I let them know that if I'm expected to maintain that level of intensity forever, I'll burn out pretty quickly. I'll eventually have to settle into a reasonable pace that will allow me to keep going for years to come. The response has always been positive.

The last tip I have is to not make our careers our entire life. Like I said, it's nearly impossible for a job to make us feel good and good about ourselves in every way. We're more likely to be OK with the downsides of a job if we're getting some of what we need elsewhere. Having hobbies, interests, and achievements outside of work can take the pressure off of that job needing to be Goldilocks perfect. And taking the pressure off of the need for perfection is always something I recommend.

Constant changes in academic interests and careers can be more common for those of us with ADHD and can have a huge negative impact on our self-esteem, our career progress, and our bank accounts. We can get rushes of dopamine when we over-fantasize about a new career prospect, then later overfixate on how we don't feel happier or more fulfilled. We can have the tendency to hyperfocus and be ultraproductive when we start a new job at a pace that is unsustainable and can lead to burnout.

Burnout and drops in stimulation after grueling academic programs can mimic depression and make us feel like we have to get out now or else. But we can have more sustainable careers if we guide our decisions based on what does work for us instead of what doesn't.

Try to infuse new challenges and novelty regularly into the careers we currently have, and communicate that our productivity is in turbo mode to start, but will be settling into a more reasonable pace in time. And we can lower the pressure for our job to be perfect if we have hobbies, interests, and achievements that validate and contribute to our self-esteem outside of work. So, even an imperfect job can be fulfilling.

You've been listening to "Tips from an ADHD Coach" on the Understood Podcast Network. If you have a challenge you're facing, we'd love to hear about it. Send us an email or voice memo at ADHDcoachtips@understood.org. You can also check out the show notes to find links to anything mentioned in the show and more resources.

This show is brought to you by Understood.org Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. If you wanna help us continue this work, donate at Understood.org/give.

"Tips from an ADHD Coach" is produced by Jessamine Molli and Margie DeSantis. Jesse DeMartino edits the show. Video is produced Calvin Knie. Our theme music was written by Justin B. Wright. Samiah Adams is our supervising producer, Briana Berry is our production director, and Neil Drumming is our editorial director. For Understood.org, our executive directors are Laura Key, Scott Cocchiere, and Seth Melnick. And I'm your host, Jaye Lin. Thanks for listening.