I’m self-employed, have ADHD, and have a kid with AuDHD. This is how I manage it all.

Audrey is a 41-year-old social worker in private psychotherapy practice, specializing in trauma. She lives with her family in northern New Jersey, where she likes to cook, hike, sing karaoke, and waste an infinite amount of time on the internet.

5:49 a.m. Up with the sun, unfortunately. I had a rough night’s sleep because I’m anxious about the day ahead. Usually, both my husband and I work from home. But he’s working an event with long hours in the city this week, leaving me with most of the childcare and household duties. I rely heavily on routines to manage my challenges with executive function, so it’ll be interesting to catalogue a week where my orderly rhythms are upended. I do my morning chores: Unload the dishwasher, make my son’s breakfast, and pack his school lunch and snack.

6:35 a.m. My 7-year-old, J, wakes up and we go downstairs for breakfast. I read to him every morning, and today we finish James and the Giant Peach. Everyone gets dressed. It’s Respect Week at J’s school, which means he’s expected to wear a different themed outfit every day. For an anti-bullying initiative, this feels like an act of violence against me, specifically. I wrote all the outfits into my calendar at the start of the week to help myself remember.

7:00 a.m. We all pile into the car to drop my husband off at the train station. When we get home, I write a short grocery list. If something takes me less than five minutes to do, I try to do it as soon as it occurs to me.

8:20 a.m. Drop J off at school. I drive back home and get set up in my office for the day. If there are a lot of tasks jumbled up in my brain, I try to make a to-do list. Fortunately, there aren’t a lot of items on it today.

9:55 a.m. I realize that I forgot a close friend’s birthday yesterday. I’d texted her several times throughout the day and didn’t mention it! I feel like an ass and send her a frantic apology text. As a therapist, I’ve done a lot of work in my own therapy to avoid sinking into depression spirals when my brain drops information. Beating myself up won’t help me go back in time and remember her birthday. Fortunately, she’s used to me and forgives my blunder.

10:58 a.m. I realize that I also forgot to make J brush his teeth this morning. Really firing on all cylinders here! Well, anyway… I cook a big meal for lunch and dinner. I always cook for the day during my lunch break because I’m lucky enough to work from home, and I have absolutely no energy after 4 p.m. A lot of my tools for handling my ADHD involve respecting and/or exploiting my natural circadian rhythms. I drive to the grocery store and pick up a few things — mostly fruit — to sustain us until tomorrow. We go through a lot of fruit here.

4:00 p.m. I have a lot of fidgety energy in my body today, so I play with a worry stone during my sessions. I have a last-minute cancellation, so I use the time to make my meal plan for next week. I usually do that over the weekend, but my Saturday self will thank me for doing it now.

4:45 p.m. Pick up J from school. He gets screen time while I prepare his dinner. I am a good wife and load the dishwasher and clean the counters so my husband doesn’t have to do it when he gets home after nine.

8:08 p.m. Child in bed. Long day. Time to watch YouTube until my brain liquefies.

7:00 a.m. My husband handles breakfast, letting me sleep in. We drive him to the train again. Back home, J and I start reading Fantastic Mr. Fox.

8:45 a.m. Child safely deposited at school. Small blessings: Today is pajama day, the easiest of all theme days. I drive back home and do a 35-minute strength training workout. I’ve been a little anxious and unsettled this week with my husband away! Partially, I miss him. Partially, I’m very aware of the slack I have to pick up, especially when he’s not around for body doubling. I feel a higher level of general activation now that I have to do things off-schedule and alone. Exercise helps, as do some grounding exercises and self-talk.

9:51 a.m. I settle in to work. This year, I’ve switched to using AI-generated process notes for my sessions. I feel bad about the environmental impact. But the paperwork part of this job has always been a struggle for me, and this makes my life so much easier.

4:00 p.m. Done with clients for the day. It’s good when I can end a Friday early. I take advantage of the time by going to the grocery store. Usually, I go grocery shopping over the weekend, but it’s going to be busy and I won’t have time. Adapting to change! I had put James and the Giant Peach in my purse earlier, so I drop it off at the library return bin by the supermarket.

6:30 p.m. Pick J up from school and let him have his screen time. J has AuDHD. (He comes by it honestly. My husband is the autism, I’m the ADHD.) We’ve had some issues with restraint collapse lately. I have a lot of sympathy for him melting down after holding it together at school all day, and I try really hard to be patient with the tantrums that come from his difficulty regulating. Still, I get to the end of my tether more frequently than I’d like. Yesterday, he and I talked about how to handle his big feelings around the transition away from screen time. Tonight, he settles down to eat dinner without issue. It feels like a win. I spend time with him as he climbs the tree outside our house after dinner, and we play with his toy trains before bath time.

9:00 p.m. My husband comes home and we talk about our days before going to bed.

6:07 a.m. J’s up, so we’re all up. It’s Saturday, and I laze in bed a bit before my morning obligations. J and I are going into the city to visit my cousin and his family, who just bought a place. I prop my housewarming present, a coffee table book about city parks, against the front door so I don’t forget it. My husband asks what he can do around the house while I’m gone (he’s staying home to rest). I ask him to do the laundry and clean the guest room since his mother is staying here next week. He also makes me eggs for breakfast.

7:03 a.m. I make kimchi-jjigae. Is it almost pathologically overprepared to make a stew before eight in the morning? Yes. Do I trust myself to cook this evening after a day of travel? No. My husband and I are trying to save money and eat healthier, so stew before dawn it is.

8:30 a.m. My husband drives J and me to the train station. It’s a hike to my cousin’s house, but J is a train-loving boy, and he has a lot of fun on the commute. 

11:00 a.m. Lovely brunch with my cousin and his wife. The kids disappear upstairs to play while the grown-ups drink mimosas. They give me a tour of their new house, which is designed impeccably.

3:45 p.m. Train ride home. My husband picks us up from the station, and I officially tag out of primary parenting for the rest of the day. Checking emails, I see that almost all our plans for tomorrow are getting canceled due to a storm rolling in. I’m really glad I did the grocery shopping yesterday!

6:31 p.m. I lounge around, indolent as an emperor, while my husband supervises J cleaning his room. J is mad that I returned James and the Giant Peach and asks for a book collection of Roald Dahl, which I immediately order from Amazon like a sucker. I automatically want to buy the complete collection of The Borrowers, too. I remind my brain that this is what libraries are for.

7:54 p.m. Child is lights-out for the evening. My husband and I go downstairs to watch Taskmaster. (I know, what are the odds that two neurodivergent weirdos would like Taskmaster?) Series 20 isn’t quite as good as series 19, but seldom does the show reach those dazzling heights. 

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