Spilling the juice with Jessica Shaw, host of “Everyone Gets a Juice Box”: When parenting a neurodivergent child feels isolating, community changes everything

From Understood.org comes Everyone Gets a Juice Box, our newest podcast for parents of neurodivergent kids. In each episode, award-winning journalist and host Jessica Shaw shares her own fears, triumphs, and candid moments as a parent navigating this journey — and she sits down with other parents who do the same. Find out what Jessica hopes every parent will take away when they tune in.

I ask questions for a living. For years as an entertainment journalist and radio host, I was always overflowing with questions for A-listers, from Alan Alda to Zendaya. How did you prepare? When do you know you’ve nailed the performance? Do you ever look back at your previous roles? 

I was always prepared, having immersed myself in their films and TV series, and eager to hear insight into their craft. 

Once I got home, it was another story. I often felt lost, like no amount of diligent homework would be adequate preparation for parenting. There were evaluations to schedule, therapies to wonder about, meltdowns to contend with, and school support to stay on top of. My days were spent feeling connected and confident. 

And, more than I’d like to admit, my evenings were spent feeling lonely and uncertain. I had plenty of questions: Did I handle that situation right? Should I have forced that issue? What did I do wrong? Will things ever be peaceful? But there were no answers.

If a friend asked about my family, I’d say things were great. It would be too difficult to explain the challenges of navigating an IEP or why summer camp just might not be doable. Though I’m blessed with wonderful friends and family, I knew they wouldn’t totally get it. It’s not their fault. Unless you’re living it, I thought, you can’t begin to imagine what it’s like.

So, what does living it feel like? Turns out, there are a whole bunch of us who know all too well. 

• Understood’s research found that 75 percent of parents of kids who learn and think differently feel uncertain in their parenting journey.

• Studies demonstrate that caring for a child who learns and thinks differently is associated with parental guilt and depression.

• Parents of kids with ADHD and dyslexia often feel more isolated and experience greater levels of stress than parents of neurotypical children. 

And a stat that particularly stood out to me: Almost 80 percent of parents with kids who learn and think differently fear their child’s challenges will impact their ability to succeed in life. 

It’s not just anonymous numbers telling the story I’ve been living. It turns out that more people than I knew were having those same feelings that I was. A couple of close friends, in particular, were going through similar stresses. The details about our kids may have been different, but the parenting emotions were the same.

I remember the first time I felt like I could just exhale and let my shoulders unclench. It was an afterschool picnic, with all the sensory stimuli that come with a massive park. My friend and I sat on the blanket and watched our kids, who had zero inclination to sit on said blanket, and we just experienced the relief of knowing we didn’t have to justify behavior. We didn’t need to explain why things were a little (a lot?) more chaotic than over there at that other picnic. 

I’ve since met more friends who are with me on life’s picnic blankets. They’ve been life-saving soundboards, cheerleaders, and listeners. Sometimes “I get it” is more helpful than a thousand books and experts. 

I’m thrilled to host Understood’s newest podcast, Everyone Gets a Juice Box, where parents of neurodivergent kids talk and share and vent and laugh. We don’t fix. We don’t advise. We don’t solve. And we certainly don’t judge. 

In each episode, a parent shares their journey of parenting a neurodivergent child — whether it’s a challenge, a win, or a moment they never felt like they could talk about. When you listen to these stories, I want you to experience the feelings I had on that picnic blanket: exhaling, unclenching, and realizing you’re not alone. 

We’re parents, after all. We share the tea. And when it comes to our kids, we share the juice. I may not have tried your particular flavor, but I know I’ll recognize those ingredients. And I’m guessing you will, too.  Check out Everyone Gets a Juice Box wherever you get your podcasts.