ADHD and lying: Why kids with ADHD might lie a lot

By Gail Belsky

Expert reviewed by Ellen Braaten, PhD

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  • Quick tip 1

    Don’t take the lying personally.

    Try to remember that when kids with ADHD lie, they’re usually not trying to defy or disrespect you. They may be struggling with doing a sequence of tasks or with impulsivity.

  • Quick tip 2

    Remove the shame of lying.

    Don’t excuse the lie, but show that you understand that something led to it. Say, “It sounds like you were struggling. Let’s talk about how you got here and how we can get you back on track.”

  • Quick tip 3

    Find out what led to the lie.

    What happened right before the lie? Talk about what happened and help kids recognize what went wrong. Then help brainstorm ways to handle things differently next time.

  • Quick tip 4

    Don’t ask — check.

    Take away the opportunity to lie by checking to see if they did what they were told, instead of asking them. If it isn’t done, tell them they have to do it. Ask if they need help.

Most kids lie or avoid telling the truth from time to time. But with kids who have ADHD, you might find yourself often asking, “Why are you lying again?”

Not all kids with ADHD tell frequent lies. In fact, some are impulsively honest, which can create its own problems. But for those who do lie, it can quickly become a habit. 

Usually, these lies are about everyday things like chores and work. Kids with ADHD struggle with starting and planning out tasks. So, they might not do them, and then lie and say they did.

Or they might lie about a minor mistake, like dropping and breaking a dish. Even when it’s clear they did it, they insist they didn’t.

Why would they say something that’s so obviously false? To avoid having to face difficulties and ask for help. It’s a way of coping with the challenges caused by ADHD.

Lying takes away the pressure of having to figure out how to do tasks. And for many kids with ADHD, that’s worth getting in trouble for, especially if they’re used to it.

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