How to plan ahead for a successful summer

Even if summer seems far in the future, it’s probably not too early to begin planning for what your child will do during their break from school. 

Once you find a program that looks interesting, then comes the rest of the work. Is it a good fit for my child? How am I going to pay for it? 

On this episode of Parenting Behavior, host Dr. Andy Kahn talks about the best time to start planning for summer camps and the key questions parents should ask. He also shares insights on choosing the right camp or program for your child.

We’d love to hear from you. You can email us at ParentingBehavior@understood.org.

Related resources

• Summer guide for families 

• 8 types of summer camps for kids who learn and think differently

• Checklist: Questions to ask when evaluating summer camps 

Timestamps

(0:50) What type of program is right for your child? 

(3:57) When should I start planning?

(7:37) How can you pay for camp?

(9:38) How to get the best information on a camp

Episode transcript

Andy: If you wanna have a successful summer for your child with learning and thinking difference, you're gonna have to start your planning a little earlier than you think you would. Today you'll learn three things: How early you need to start the process of your search, what questions you need to ask to get that "just right" program, and how you're gonna afford the program that is gonna help meet your child's needs.

This is "Parenting Behavior" and I'm your host, Dr. Andy Kahn. I'm a licensed psychologist and parent with over 20 years experience working with kids and families with behavioral challenges. Today, we're going to focus on helping you pick that correct program for your child for this summer.

(0:50) What type of program is right for your child?

Before deciding to invest your time, your money, your energy, filling out applications for things like financial aid and programs in general, you really want to make sure that you know what your child is developmentally ready for. Summer camps and programs provide great opportunities for things like socializing, playing sports, and learning all kinds of new activities. But if your child isn't ready for those activities, it can be a great waste of time and money.

When making that important decision to research camps for your child, a couple of really developmental questions are important. First and foremost, is your child able to navigate separation from you when going to school or going to daycare? Or are they showing a lot of anxiety when separating from you? Is your child able to follow simple two-step directions from an adult? Is your child having any issues with toileting, nighttime problems with accidents, or having accidents during the day?

Has your child been successful doing a sleepover with family, friends, or family? Has your child successfully attended an overnight activity with some sort of group, like school, or a church group or their scouts? Is your child expressing an interest in going to camp, or particularly going to a sleepaway camp? Can your child independently do their grooming rituals, like taking a shower and brushing their teeth? And finally, can your child ask for help when they need it?

If your child is struggling in one or more of these areas, it's probably a good indicator that they're not ready for a sleepaway camp. But don't be distressed. There are lots and lots of great part-day and full-day camps they can go to while still coming home every evening and staying in the community. Another thing to consider is that as much as we may want our kids to go to these camps, they're not going to spontaneously develop these skills in the camp setting or without you present. So, having a little more time to wait until they're ready to do those activities is going to be a lot more successful for you and your family.

If your child has the majority of these skills, they may be ready for a sleep-away camp, and that may be something you want to start the discussion of with your family and with your child. Keep in mind, there are some therapeutically-focused camps, that might be able to cover more of these skills for your child, and that gives you an opportunity to send them a little earlier or have the opportunity to learn these skills with professionals trained to give them those opportunities. But that may not be the norm for your child.

In some cases, therapeutically designed camps may be more able and willing to help your child through some of these tasks. So, asking those questions and looking really carefully at specialized programs can be super helpful for you. In addition, as a parent, you're gonna have a great amount of leeway to decide what camp is the best fit for your child at this time. While they may have the skills. They may not be emotionally ready or may not feel comfortable going to an overnight camp where they can't come and get support from you each night.

If your child is exhibiting the majority of these skills already, they might be ready for an overnight camp, and that's something that's really cool to consider. In some cases, therapeutically-focused camps can help your child do some of these developmental activities. That can be super reassuring for us as parents of kids with learning and thinking differences. Ultimately, parents have a great leeway to decide what's the best match for their It's good. And sometimes that's just gonna require some gut feeling from you to say, "OK, do I really feel comfortable and is my kid ready?

(3:57) When should I start planning?

Winter may seem like an awfully early time to start talking about summer camps and plans, but this is the time of year where most camp fairs are occurring. During the months of February and March, you will find that camps are getting together in schools and in other places where they share literature and give you a chance to talk to their staff. Having an opportunity to get that information early also provides the best access to things like early payment discounts, scholarships, and other opportunities to make camp more affordable for you and your family.

Many of the programs that are run by schools, your local town office, or even your library or local museums start to release their information around this time of year. So, getting an early jump on that information can give you that shot to get into camps that tend to fill up really quickly. Some families are surprised to learn that their local camps are often specially designed for kids with learning and thinking differences. And those opportunities to work with camps that might have school teachers or other people with specialized training can be super successful and great affordable options for your kids.

There are many types of summer camps and programs that may be a match for your child. These camps can span topics anywhere from LEGO, robotics, STEM, drama, and a variety of sports camps. And if your child is engaged in activities that are of high interest to them, the probability that they're gonna wanna effort and spend their best energies on it is dramatically improved. Keep in mind that sleepaway camps also come in a wide variety of flavors and types as well. So, getting information on their schedules and what kind of activities they engage with can help determine if your child is really gonna like the choices available.

Stays at sleepaway camps can vary dramatically in length, some of them lasting just a couple of nights, a week at a time, or up to eight weeks in length. So, if your child is really starting to show interest in sleepaway camps, giving them an opportunity to go to a short length camp first and be successful can be a great jumping off point to doing more intensive activities. Looking for camps that match your child's strengths and interests can be really important.

Keep in mind that kids with learning and thinking differences like ADHD tend to hyperfocus. So, if there's a skill they're really interested in, they're gonna be more invested in doing those activities. And developing those skills better can build self-esteem, help them feel more confident, and help them be connected with other kids with similar interests.

Oftentimes, these interests can also lead to improved access to things like academic programming and thinking about career choices that might be connected to those topics. Finally, keep in mind, It's really important to get a sense of the overall camp vibe and feel. See if the child seems to see other kids who have a sense of belonging. Talk to families who've gone there before to see if your child seems to be someone who might connect well with that program. Summer activities have so much to offer, so giving your child that opportunity can be super helpful.

One great strategy is to get sample schedules from camps that can give you a sense of the layout of the child's day. How packed is the child's day? How many high-interest and high-energy activities are there? And does your child have enough downtime built in? If the schedule is sort of confusing, having questions with the administrator about, is there flexibility? One thing that I'm always on the lookout for is does the camp specifically mention in their documentation or in their presentation at the fair about how they approach children with differences?

Some camps are really aware that all of our populations include who learn and think differently. And if the camp is thinking ahead and is talking about things that they do to individualize and accommodate for kids, this can be a great opportunity for you to jump off and ask about how they might help your child who has differences. If a camp doesn't advertise about this, you can still have those discussions, but it's often really helpful to see a campus thinking about that in advance.

(7:37) How can you pay for camp?

Summer camps and programs have gotten extremely expensive over the years, and they can be outside of the realm of accessible for many of our families. One of the things to consider is it's really important to investigate costs, scholarships, and opportunities for you before you have deep conversations and research, particularly in talking with your child. Setting them up for the disappointment of "I love the look of this camp and no, we don't have the money, can be just crushing for so many kids.

Accessing scholarships and subsidies requires early investigation and early application. So, for so many families, being prepared by having your testing reports ready. If your child has a special needs scholarship, being able to show, here's their diagnosis, here's what their program looks like at school or in the community. These can be really helpful for expediting your process. Keep in mind, don't share too much detail with your child until you have a sense of what the financial picture looks like. It's really hard to cheer with your child, "I love this program, but no, you can't go because we don't have the money."

There's some really important logistical things to consider as it relates to finances. What are the deadlines for applications? When does a deposit do? Is your deposit refundable if you find that you can't get the financial aid you need for your child? And ultimately, what are the timeframes for applications for financial aid and other supports if they fall outside of the camp that you're applying for?

Yes, this is confusing. There's a lot of details here. But keep in mind, having a calendar for yourself to track this is really important. I'm a parent with a learning thinking difference, so I use calendars and organizers for me to really track this information, because the best I can do for my child's is to find out what is financially possible.

For kids with identified disabilities, getting your documents in line as early as possible so you can send them out quickly to organizations can be really helpful. Sadly, some programs are just too expensive for some of our families, but we're gonna talk about some low-cost and free options here in the next few minutes.

(9:38) How to get the best information on a camp

If you found a program that you really like and you wanna get some more details, I'm gonna give you a list of some questions here that you can ask the administrators. When you wanna set your child up for success with summer camps, the more information you have, the better. Don't just rely on the website to the brochures. Seek out other ways to gather information that can be really practical for you.

Many camps may give you a phone number of a parent of a child who's already attended the camp or someone who maybe has a similar circumstance to you. So, getting some real-world information from someone who's been there. can be really helpful. Also checking out online reviews can be helpful. Sometimes they're gonna raise issues and talk about topics that weren't covered anywhere else.

Always take online reviews with a grain of salt. Sometimes people who are extremely unhappy or didn't like the program description go online and post negative things. Sometimes people are more likely to say negatives than positives, but gathering information can come from all sources.

When in doubt, having a call or a visit with the camp administrator can be super helpful. And I'm gonna give you my top seven questions to ask them. First, do you have experience working with kids with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia? And you can insert your child's difference here. What accommodations might you make for kids who have differences? And what does that look like for you historically? Tell me what you've done in the past.

If I provide strategies that work at home for my child, are you gonna be willing to use those strategies at your camp? What kind of kid is typically successful at your camp? And what kind of things do you hope that they would be able to do when they start camp with you? What approaches do you use if a child's having behavioral or emotional issues while attending? And how is that typically gone for you? If my child's taking medication, who's gonna supervise or administer the medications each day, and how are we gonna be able to keep track of the time of day that they need to take it?

And finally, how does the camp handle interactions with kids who might struggle socially? Will you help connect my child to children who will help them develop their skills? How might you navigate some of those social challenges that they have in the day-to-day? How does your camp handle interactions between kids who might have some social struggles? Will you place them with other kids who are able to help them? And what might you do to help them facilitate having better social interactions and being more successful with their peers?

If the administrator seems confused or can't give you answers with enough clarity, this may be data that this isn't a great match for you or your child. This kind of information gathering is the best you're gonna be able to do to determine what is my child's chance for success at camp. So, getting this data is gonna be really crucial for you. One question I get asked a ton during therapy with families is, should I disclose my child's differences or disability with the camp administrators? And this is a bit complicated. It really depends on the comfort of the family.

I'm always of the mindset that if you can ask specific questions like "How do you navigate things for kids who have differences like ADHD? If my child needs more downtime because they struggle with attention and focus, how are you gonna manage that for them?" is a lot easier to manage than getting a call, later on, to find out, "Well, your kid's really not meeting the standards of our behavior."

If the camp knows in advance that your child has differences, it gives them the opportunity to say what they do well and maybe what would be hard for your child. So it's really up to you as a parent, but I find that disclosing a little bit more can be helpful and definitely set you up for success.

Talking about your child's needs ahead of time can give you the best opportunity to establish strategies and a sense of understanding between the camp and your child. If the camp isn't aware of your child's differences, there's a greater probability that they will view their behavior that comes from things like ADHD or being confused by directions as being defiant or being inattentive in a negative way or that their behavior is intentionally problematic.

When we know a child has differences, it is a lot easier to think about it, oh, that they can't do something or something is hard for them rather than they're being naughty or being difficult. So, in those situations, I want to give the child the best chance for being seen as the whole person, even though some of those challenges are things that make it harder for the camp to manage for them. Sometimes paid summer camps and sleepaway camps are just too expensive and out of our reach. And when your application processes and scholarships fall short, you really have to start thinking about your other options.

One of the cool things is that local towns and cities often have lots of low-cost and free options for summer programs. Checking out your local school, library, and museums, you'll find that there's a lot of programming offered. And much of this may be free or low cost. Checking in with those programs can find they may have scholarships available and subsidies that can get you access to programs that are much more affordable.

The great thing about community-based activities like these is your child may be able to attend with kids that they know from their own school or kids who live in their neighborhood. So, those opportunities to build social connections and to have more friends going into the next school year can be a great advantage for kids. When starting that search, checking in with your town office or making a call your school guidance counselor can be a great starting place. They're often really aware of what's available to your child and may have direct awareness of what your child needs and how they function in school, which can make them really well-suited to help you pick just that right program.

In addition, missing out on those first-choice summer programs can be crushing and can be so disappointing. But getting involved early will still give you opportunities to pick and choose some of those things your child might really, really like. So, keep in mind, while some of these programs are really expensive and not accessible, there are still lots of opportunities out there. Starting early is the key.

Your child's local school may be a great starting place for this investigation. Reaching out to your school guidance counselor is really a great resource. They may know about a lot of low-cost and free programs, and they may be familiar with your child's programming already, which means they might have a great sense of, "OK, this child needs specific things." Getting that first-person advice from someone who has knowledge and experience in your community can be a great starting place for you.

Thanks so much for joining us, and we really hope this information helps you and your child have a great summer experience. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting the 70 million Americans with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you'd like to support our important mission, consider donating. Go to Understood.org/give.

Thanks for listening to this episode of "Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn." We'd love to hear from you if you have any thoughts on the show. You can email us at parentingbehavior@understood.org. I'll put the email in the show notes too, where you can also find more resources and links to anything we mentioned.

"Parenting Behavior with Dr. Andy Kahn" is brought to you by Understood.org. It's produced by Cody Nelson and Daniela Tello-Garzon. Editorial guidance by Gail Belsky. Music and mixing by Justin D. Wright. Our video producers are Calvin Knie and Christophe Manuel. Special thanks to Dr. Karen Wilson. Ash Beecher is our supervising producer, Briana Berry is our production director, and Neil Drumming is our editorial director.

Our executive directors are Laura Key, Scott Cocchiere, and Seth Melnick. Understood is a non-profit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking difference, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at Understood.org/give.