What to do when kids say “no one will play with me”
Expert reviewed by Mark J. Griffin, PhD
Quick tips to help kids with friendship
- Quick tip 1Pinch-hit as a playmate.
Pinch-hit as a playmate.If a child is lonely, offer to play. Choose something both of you enjoy, like doing a puzzle or going on a hike. Try to get others, like friends and family, to pinch-hit as playmates too.
“No one will play with me.” When a child says this, you may not know what to do or say. The best place to start is to simply listen.
Play is as important to young kids as things like money and love are to adults. So when kids say “no one will play with me,” it probably feels like a really big deal to them. Try not to downplay it by saying something like “everything will be fine tomorrow.”
Use open-ended questions to learn more:
- What made you feel like this today?
- Who didn’t want to play with you?
- Were there some kids you wanted to play with, but you didn’t get a chance?
Some kids may just have had a bad day and will feel better after a good night’s sleep. Others may feel like misfits or struggle in social situations. And in some cases, saying “no one will play with me” might be a sign of bullying or exclusion.
Once you understand what’s happening, you can come up with a plan.
Dive deeper
Keeping an eye on negative self-talk
Signs of bullying and social problems
Next steps
About the author
About the author
Andrew M.I. Lee, JD is an editor and attorney who strives to help people understand complex legal, education, and parenting issues.
Reviewed by
Reviewed by
Mark J. Griffin, PhD was the founding headmaster of Eagle Hill School, a school for children with specific learning disabilities.
