ADHD and oversharing

At some point in their lives, most people accidentally share some information they probably shouldn’t have shared. It might be embarrassing small talk or something private about someone else. But for many people with ADHD, “oversharing” can be a more frequent problem. 

Oversharing is saying something personal or inappropriate in the wrong setting or to the wrong person. It’s usually not something people with ADHD do on purpose. Sometimes they may not realize they’re giving too much information or saying the wrong thing. Or they might not be able to stop and check themselves before they say it.

Trouble with oversharing happens for different reasons. People may have trouble with executive function skills like impulse control. Or they may have trouble with social skills and low self-esteem. Kids might overshare to get attention or to look cool.

There are ways to avoid oversharing and manage the symptoms that may cause it. 

Executive function is a group of skills that act as the “management system” of the brain. Trouble with executive function is a prime reason for oversharing.

Here are some areas of executive function that people with ADHD struggle with when they’re sharing information with others:

• Impulse control. Blurting things out without considering the consequences.

• Self-regulation. Saying things in the heat of the moment.

• Flexible thinking. Trouble seeing things more than one way or understanding how others see things.

Learn more about executive function. 

Social media can help kids stay in touch with friends. But it can also be risky for kids who tend to overshare. Information reaches a much wider audience on social media, including people who might use it in a negative way. 

Here are some tips for parents to help kids minimize oversharing online:

• Get access. If you allow your child to create an account on a social media site, it’s important to know what they’re posting. First set up an account on the same site for yourself. Set a rule that your child has to “friend” you and give you access to posts to set up their account.

• Discuss what’s OK to share. Talk about what information is safe to post and what isn’t. Be clear about what you don’t want them to post about.

• Talk about consequences. Kids need to know what’s at stake when they overshare, especially online. For example, they might lose friends or open themselves up to bullying.

• Practice empathy. Discuss how you’d feel if someone shared something private about you. Ask how your child would feel. 

Watch an expert explain how to know when a child is oversharing on social media.

Oversharing can be hard to stop in the moment. But there are ways to help keep it from happening. A good place to start is to practice conversation skills like not interrupting, listening to what people are saying, and waiting a second or two before speaking.

If there’s time, think about what’s OK to say and what isn’t. That’s easier to do with email conversations and social posts. But thinking ahead can help in face-to-face conversation and texting, too.

Oversharing happens because of ADHD symptoms like impulsivity. Experts agree that ADHD medication is one of the best ways to manage symptoms. You can talk with your health care provider about this treatment option.

Read more about ADHD medication. And get information about impulsivity in kids with ADHD.