Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley’s story)

Steve Wesley makes videos about ADHD to create a legacy for his family. As a single dad with ADHD, he worries he’s not doing enough to support his two sons, who also have ADHD. He hopes the videos will serve as proof one day that he really was trying.

Steve’s late wife was “the calendar” of the family. She kept everything on track. When she passed away, it was up to Steve to manage everything and teach his sons the executive function skills that he struggles with so much himself.

Join this emotional conversation between Steve and host Laura Key about parenting and coping with death with ADHD.

Want to share your “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at ADHDAha@understood.org.

• Check out Steve’s YouTube channel, Steve with ADHD

• ADHD and coping with grief: 8 ways to help your child

• ADHD and emotions

(01:00) Steve’s “aha” moment, and accepting his diagnosis

(05:03) ADHD, emotions, and grieving the loss of his wife

(10:57) Adjusting to being a single parent as a widower

(13:48) Why did Steve start his YouTube channel for his family?

(18:38) ADHD: Superpower or curse?

(23:27) What would Steve’s wife be proud of him for today?

Steve: It dawned on me that I'm trying to teach my son about his brain and how to cope with his brain while trying to learn how to cope with my brain and learn more about ADHD and what's ADHD symptoms, what's not ADHD symptoms, that that's almost like me being in the same grade as you teaching you math as I'm learning math.

Laura: This is "ADHD Aha!," a podcast where people share the moment when it finally clicked that they have ADHD. My name is Laura Key. I head up our editorial team here at Understood.org, and as someone who's had my own ADHD "aha" moment, I'll be your host.

I am here today with Steve Wesley. Steve is a videographer and a dad of two. He also runs the YouTube channel "Steve with ADHD." Steve, welcome to "ADHD Aha!" Thanks for being here.

Steve: Thank you for having me, I appreciate it. It's a joy to do this.

Laura: Let's start with your kids if that's all right.

Steve: Not a problem. That's a great place to start.

Laura: I thought it might be. You have two.

Steve: I have two of them, 13 and 10.

Laura: And the oldest has been diagnosed with ADHD, and the youngest is maybe on the precipice, is that what I remember?

Steve: So, Caleb, my oldest, was diagnosed probably around four or five with ADHD. And Nolan, the younger one, didn't present the same symptoms. But it's funny because Nolan is more me than anything. And so, it's kind of a shock on how I didn't notice it. But I mean, right now, I'm in the process of filling out the paperwork and stuff like that to get him diagnosed so that he could have the opportunities in school and stuff like that that he needs.

Laura: Can you talk me through what happened with Caleb first?

Steve: So, there was a time when he wasn't talking as much on the average scale. And so, they wanted to make sure that there was nothing neurologically wrong with him. So, they kind of referred us to a neurologist and by the end of it, it was just pretty much, yeah, it's a classic ADHD combined type.

Laura: And you had an "aha" moment that was related to how his assessment was written up?

Steve: Yes. So, I think it was like a couple of weeks prior to actually getting the written-up assessment back from the doctor. My mom gave me a big box full of my report cards and a little awards that I won in, you know, in school. And I ended up finding this assessment because I was assessed for a learning disability. And there's a section on both of the assessments that was the parents concerned.

And my wife at the time was reading that section, you know, of "doesn't pay attention, is always making jokes, and daydreaming" and stuff like that. So, I looked at her and I was like, you know, "Are you reading mine?" And she goes, "No, this is Caleb's." And I was like, well...

Laura: Wow.

Steve: Yeah. So, apparently, I gave it to him because this is exactly what my parents said to me, you know, or said about me, so.

Laura: But it would be a few years before you got diagnosed with ADHD, is that right?

Steve: Very much so. My wife would actually, you know, joke around about this. So, I got diagnosed twice by the same therapist within six months.

Laura: Oops. What do you mean, did they forget?

Steve: I did.

Laura: Oh, wait, what?

Steve: So, January is when I got to this new therapist and we got a really good report going on and stuff like that. And then, you know, we're talking about childhood. We're talking about the symptoms. We're talking about my daily life and all this other stuff. And, uh, that goes on for months, like probably July, August, September timeframe, I had a really, really bad day. I mean, it was just, it was a bad day and it just so happened to be on the same day as the therapy appointment.

And so, I get on there and I'm just rambling on about all this type of stuff. things I can't do, things that went wrong, things that I can't adjust to, the fact that I was late and all this other stuff. I ended up yelling at her like, "You know, I need to know if I'm diagnosed because if I'm diagnosed, I could do something about it, but if I'm not, then I gotta figure out what this is." And I don't know how she kept a straight face, but she kept a straight face. "Steve, you've been diagnosed since March."

Laura: Wow.

Steve: "And you told me? You did tell me this, right?" She was like, "Yeah, why do you think I keep talking about medication and stuff?"

Laura: Oh, wow, Steve, yeah.

Steve: Well, if that's not an ADHD thing, then.

Laura: I mean that's about as meta as you can get. Yeah. Yeah. So, was it a relief when you re-learned?

Steve: It was kind of a relief, but at the same time, it was almost like I related it to the stages of grief that you hear about, where it's like at first it's, well, grief is a little differently, obviously, but at first when you're diagnosed, it's like things make sense. But then it does go into like, you know, anger a little bit, frustration, because it's kind of like, "Well, if I was diagnosed earlier, what would my life look like now?" You know, I mean, would I be anxious? Would I be all up in arms, all disorganized, you know, or would I've been able to fix it?

And after a while comes acceptance and you just try and move on and try and figure out what works for you, what doesn't work for you, and keep moving on knowing that all those things that do work for you and doesn't work for you sometimes change. So, sometimes you got to go back and do a system that didn't work for you, but do it now because it might work for you now because things just change. It's like a living organism.

Laura: Yeah, that's a good way to describe it. Steve, a lot has happened since then. Is it OK if I ask you about your wife?

Steve: Sure, as long as you give me a little bit of time.

Laura: You take your time. You were just talking about the stages of grief with diagnosis, and I know that you're very well acquainted with grief. And it's a bit fresh, but you did lose your wife last year.

Steve: Yes, March of 2023 is when she suddenly passed.

Laura: I'm so sorry.

Steve: I appreciate that.

Laura: ADHD can make it hard to cope with grief. It's already hard. It can make it harder.

Steve: Yes, before her passing, I'd always read and hear about other people's stories about like people with ADHD feel 10 times more. It's you know, if you love somebody, you're in love with somebody, you know, it's like 10 times more. If you, if you're frustrated with somebody, you're, I mean that of course, goes into emotional dysregulation as well, but you're frustrated with it. It's like every emotion can hit definitely harder than others.

So, I'm not here saying that my grief hits harder than anybody else's grief, but it does hit hard. Especially the relationship that my wife and I had. There was times that you could pretty much go through like all seven stages, like within two, three minutes, you know, then not know where you end up either.

Laura: But it's OK to…it is harder for you. It is really hard, the managing of emotions when you have ADHD. So, yeah, I think just give yourself that grace if you haven't already.

Steve: And that's actually a phrase that I've heard quite a bit, but my worry about that is that I can give myself so much grace, but my worry is just how much grace is the world going to give me? How many times does a friend have to text me before they stop texting? How many times do I have to mess up at my job before I get fired? Because as somebody with ADHD, you already feel like the world's kind of against you anyway, but with grief and raising two kids with ADHD, which can be funny at times, but, uh, but it's just one of those things that like, you never know how much, how much grace the world's going to give. And when that grace is going to be dried up, you know.

Laura: Tell me what kind of grace that you need, and you can be, I mean, if you're mad about it too, please, that's OK here on this show.

Steve: It's not about what grace I need or what grace I'm looking for anything like that. It's just like I said it's just one of those things where a friend keeps texting you asking you to go out and they said any other and whether you double book it because you forgot or whether you just want to hibernate in your house or whatever the ADHD symptom is that's causing you not to go out. It's kind of like, you know at one point, they're gonna stop asking and be like, "What's the point?"

So, it's kind of the same thing when it comes to grief. It's just, you know, the world's just going to look at me and say, "All right, enough is enough. It's time to go. It's time to move on. Time to get your life back on track," that type of thing. And so, it's just a worry that I have stuck in my head about, you know, I believe individuals could give themselves grace to the end of the world, but it's the world that doesn't really understand giving grace to those individuals.

Laura: Tell me what it would mean to have your life on track, quote.

Steve: that's a very good question. Honestly, I don't know, I've never actually thought about what it would look like. I'm more just, especially when in my situation with kids, I'm just more about like, as long as my kids understand, there are a lot of times that my kids ADHD battles mine. And so, I snap at them or get frustrated with them pretty easily. And then I have to realize like, you know, they broke a pencil was...they shouldn't be yelled at for that. So, I have to constantly remind myself to go and say, "I apologize. Your ADHD was just following mine. I was trying to do something and you were making these noises and it just, you know?"

Laura: Yeah, sensory overload, yeah.

Steve: And so, in my situation right now, my life being back on track is really more about them than anything else.

Laura: You now are a single dad.

Steve: Yes.

Laura: A single dad with ADHD. Let me first ask you, how are your kids doing?

Steve: Every time somebody asks me that, I'm like, "They're doing better than I am."

Laura: I had a feeling you were going to say that. You know that that speaks to you, right?

Steve: You know, sometimes it's hard to tell because I think part of it is, uh, I've never seen any big hits from losing their mom. I've seen the small little sessions of crying here or something like that. Nothing big, nothing like, like me, you know, and I always tell them their brains are still developing. So, it's easy for them to go to school, be on a playground, go on a baseball field, be in the swimming pool, that type of thing. You kind of forget what's going on in their life because a lot of people, I think would see my kids right now and not know that their mother's no longer here, but we do talk about her a lot. You know, we do things, as a matter of fact, today is her birthday, as a matter of fact.

Laura: Wait, today is her birthday?

Steve: Yeah, today is her birthday.

Laura: Oh Steve, I hope that's OK.

Steve: Actually, we had a, I don't want to say dark sense of humor, but we had like a sense of humor where, a loving sense of humor, where if you probably heard us out and about, you'd be like, these people hate each other. You know, we're joking around.

Laura: I love that.

Steve: But when we were getting married, we saw a demotivator poster that had a couple walking on the sunset of the beach, and it says, we were meant for each other, and then at the bottom it says, most likely as a punishment, you know?

Laura: Sounds like you had an awesome relationship.

Steve: When I first picked up my first camera, people asked if I'm a photographer because it looks like a professional camera. And she was like, "No, he's just an idiot with a good camera." And then 15 years later, when I'm producing some pretty good stuff, I'm still an idiot with a good camera to her, so.

But I know she's proud of not only my channel but my photography and stuff like that. She's always been proud. She's always kind of encouraged it. And so, I think it's a good tribute that it's the first time somebody as big as you guys contacted me and said you want to talk to me and hear my story. I think it's a good tribute to her.

Laura: What was her name?

Steve: Allison.

Laura: Just thinking about Allison, who I don't know, but I can feel her through you.

Steve, what's your favorite thing to do with your boys?

Steve: My favorite thing was probably coaching them in baseball. I was a baseball player when I was in high school.

Laura: Nice. What position?

Steve: I was a left-fielder.

Laura: Got that arm.

Steve: Coaching my kids on the baseball field, I have a feeling that, you know, I'm not the best coach out there, especially when it comes to fundamentals. I'm more about the attitude of the game, it's the attitude that you have on the field, you know, the athlete mindset, which I believe translates into life. And so, I believe that most athletes always had that one coach that always pulled a quote out of its butt, you know. Like my favorite quote that I tell them all the time, it was like, you know, "Stop worrying about the score. Go out and make a play. You're either fighting to catch up or you're fighting to keep the lead, so just go out and fight."

Laura: I love that.

Steve: I've used that quite a bit of times in my situation with grief as well. We're fighting to catch up. Some people don't understand it because it's like, you're always fighting, you know, even when things are going good and she was here and things were going smoothly because she was our calendar.

Laura: Right.

Steve: But you know, when everything was going good, we were still fighting to keep that because we don't want to fall behind. You're always fighting. So, just get up and fight, you know.

Laura: And change, and changes to routine can also be so hard when you have ADHD, so here you are, you're a dad with ADHD with two kids with ADHD, and Allison was your calendar. So, how did you cope with that? What kinds of systems have you put in place, and are they working at all? If the answer is no, then you're not far off from me, Steve.

Steve: I'm gonna say yes and no, to be perfectly honest. So, we've always had a hectic schedule when it comes like the start of spring to the end of fall because, you know, we had two boys in Little League, so they both had games. I'm either coaching both or I'm coaching at least one of them.

Laura: That's brutal. That is, that's a lot. Yeah, those games last forever too. My kids, when they played T-ball, I'm like, "I'm done with this. I can't handle it."

Steve: Right? And then right when school is about to let out, my oldest son would always make all-star baseball. He's also a year-round swimmer and they have a summer swim team here at a local pool, which I'm a volunteer photographer for. I do their photos and videos and then I put it into a slideshow for the end of the season. And that sometimes overlaps. So, now we have to figure out, are we going to baseball? Are we going to swim? What are we doing? That type of thing. And then after summer is over, then fall baseball starts up.

And I took a huge win because this last summer there was nothing that I didn't know about. If somebody said, "Hey Steve, you know they got this going on?" I got it, and I know. I got the email. I was really on top of it. But the funny part about it is when that momentum kind of slows down like it has within these winter months, I feel like I'm forgetting a lot of stuff. I mean, we don't have a lot of things going on right now, but it's like, I don't feel like I'm as on top of it.

Laura: Yeah, it's almost like if you don't have a full slate, you feel like you're falling, even if it's not true.

Steve: Exactly. We always feel like we should be doing something, especially if like, you know, your house isn't all that clean, which might not all that clean, you know, that type of thing.

Laura: From the vantage point here, it looks perfect. I was really taken last time we spoke, Steve, when you told me why you started your channel. Will you tell the listeners why you started your channel?

Steve: My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD. Doctor said, "I hate to tell you, but one of you probably has it." And of course, I raised my hand, she's pointing over here. We already know, we already know.

Laura: It's cute.

Steve: It fits, to be perfectly honest. It's kind of like I really enjoyed the dynamic that my wife had a lot of the day-to-day things going on, the calendars going on. She reminded me about a lot of things that were coming up and this and the other. Sometimes when I was in that ADHD drought of just not being able to push myself, you know, she would at least be there to hold me or to maybe help me out and do it for me or something along those lines or do half of it for me, something like that.

But one of the things that it was difficult for her to do was to talk to the kids. Not necessarily disciplining, but if one of them's upset and stuff like that, it was hard for her because she just didn't understand what was going on.

And so, a lot of times I had to step in and so I was the one that was able to talk to them because it took a while, especially for Caleb, because I had to tell Caleb, "I'm just like you." And so, I had to kind of say, "I'm pretty sure you're feeling this way" or "You're feeling something about this, you know? Your mom made a cute joke and you felt like that joke was about you and it hurt your feelings. Well, you got a voice, you need to tell her that. But at the same time, your feelings are valid but now you're feeling kind of like you're not as smart as you are".

You know, that type of thing. And so, once I started seeing things like that, saying, "Oh, well, dad does kind of get me" and kind of opened up a little bit. So, I was able to talk to him and it dawned on me that I'm not only just diagnosed, my kid was diagnosed longer than I was, right? And it dawned on me that I'm trying to teach my son about his brain and how to cope with his brain while trying to learn how to cope with my brain and learn more about ADHD and what's ADHD symptoms, what's not ADHD symptoms, that that's almost like me being in the same grade as you teaching you math as I'm learning math. I mean, it's...

Laura: Yeah, Yeah. It feels unfair.

Steve: And so, I've always had a thought that one day my kids are gonna come up to me and go, "Well, ADHD or not, just come up to me. Why'd you do that? You know, that really kind of messed me up. It's hard for me to go to work and use my voice to my boss because you did this and that and the other." And my first thing, I'm gonna tell them that I'm sorry. "My intention wasn't that, but intention does not relieve you of harm. I caused harm and I just, how can I do to fix it, first off? You know? And a lot of it did come around to ADHD. Like, why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that?

I think, to get a better understanding of me, I was starting to make these videos so that I could tell them, like, "You were diagnosed at this time. I was diagnosed at this time. And these videos, you could tell that I'm pretty much trying to learn about my brain while teaching you your brain, while teaching your mom about all of our brains." I mean, it's very difficult. And so, it's kind of a legacy type thing of just so that they could understand what, "He was trying his best. He was trying to do the right thing. He was trying to learn about his brain so that he can teach us about our brain." And so, that's pretty much why I started the ADHD channel.

Laura: Do your boys watch your videos? Do you know?

Steve: Yes, they do. There's a couple of them that they love and think is funny.

Laura: Oh yeah? Which ones?

Steve: There's been a couple of them that I've duplicated myself, and one of them that they love is, I can't exactly remember the title, but I think it's like, "It's exhausting being normal," or "It's exhausting acting normal," something like that. But it's basically the different masks that people with ADHD put on. And so, I dress myself up as that I'm the real Steve coming in and having a meeting with all my masks and trying to get everything on track. And I sit there and I start off with work. We got a presentation coming up. So, I believe Mr. Perfectionist and Mr. Intelligent, you guys got that taken care of? And now they're arguing back and forth because Mr. Intelligent has ideas, but the perfectionist wants to like concentrate on all those ideas. And then Space Cadet comes up and comes up with something.

Laura: Space cadet. Space cadet comes in, gets all the credit, right? Yeah.

Steve: Well, I feel bad because I'm kind of putting him down a lot, you know, because I'm like, "You know what guys? You guys need to figure out how to work together, all right? Space cadet, you need to stay home. I don't need you doing your thing while we're trying to answer some questions." And the one part that they love is I said "All right. Next on the agenda is baseball, right?" I was like "Space cadet, you need to stay home, all right? Last week you were zoned out while I was trying to coach third base and you cost the kids the game.

Laura: Sounds like you really enjoy it.

Steve: And so, they definitely enjoy those type of times. There's a couple of times that Caleb has kind of come up and ask questions about a video that I've done, whether it's serious or have those, you know, fun things going on. But as a matter of fact, there was one time that Caleb was like, "You know, you're up to like, you know, 500 subscribers. You're up to like a thousand subscribers."

Laura: Let's get that number up, everybody, "Steve with ADHD." We'll put a link in the show notes as well.

Do you ever talk with your boys about the "ADHD: superpower or not" conversation?

Steve: For quite some time now, I have been trying to figure out how I want to answer that question because there was a time when that's all I saw on social media was ADHD is a superpower or any, you know, so it's like half of us think it's a curse. The other half thinks it's a superpower and I think it can be a superpower, but I also think that there's something deeper. It's more about your support system growing up, whether you're diagnosed or undiagnosed. Did your parents support you and encourage you in all of these different ideas and activities and interests that you had?

So, I believe a lot of it has to do with like, how is your support system and even how is the support system you've built around yourself today, whether or not your ADHD is a superpower. I may have a superpower of even to people sometimes that I've just met of quickly learning about a little bit of how they think and then maybe taking something that they have mentioned an interest of theirs and basically kind of see something about them and then take something about them and relate it so that they can see the other side or that they can see a different perspective on it.

And so, I do believe that sometimes it is a superpower. But in my view, it's going back to how much grace does the world have for us? Your know?

Laura: Yeah.

Steve: We might have a superpower here and there, but that's not the superpower the world wants right now. So.

Laura: Right. Or if you have a superpower, why is it so hard? Right?

Steve: Right. Exactly. And so, I don't necessarily believe like, you know, ADHD is like totally superpower or it's a total curse. I do think that we tend to, as human beings tend to look at the worst things, you know, it's kind of like bringing home a report card with four A's and a D. We're not going to get praised for the four A's. We're just going to get talked to about the D because we're always looking at that bad section rather than the good.

Laura: I appreciate your approach, like that nuanced approach to thinking about it, though, and yeah, there are pockets of superpowers, potentially. I can see that. You're a very perceptive person. I can imagine what you just described as potentially being your superpower. I see that in you, for sure.

Steve: Well, like I said, that's a lot of my quotes to try and get the kids to understand that the athlete mindset and go out and make a play rather than worry about the end game right now. So, I've learned that throughout coaching, as a matter of fact, it's just sometimes I'll say something like, "I don't even know how I knew that one," you know?

Laura: Man, coaching it's something I actually started recently. I started coaching my daughter's volleyball team. I had never done it before, but my dad always coached my teams growing up, and I remember loving that. It meant so much to me. It's like so much of what we talk to today. He's in his 70s, and we still talk about, "Remember when I was coaching your softball team or your basketball team?" You're really leaving an impression on your boys by doing that in the most positive way.

Steve: Yeah, I think so too.

Laura: How do you want your boys to think about the fact that they have ADHD? How do you want them to approach that now and in their lives?

Steve: It's hard because I've actually been trying to answer that question myself.

Laura: It may have been a question also about how you want yourself too, but I thought it might be easier to talk about your boys.

Steve: I don't want them ever thinking it's a disability. I think that the world perception on it is a little off. This isn't my quote. I don't even know who I heard this from or where I read it, but it's like "It's not a deficit. It's an abundance." We just don't have the filters to filter out the things that's not needed at the right time. And so, there's a lot of times when I'm in a restaurant, I can hear the air conditioning, I can hear the cleaning of the forks, I can hear three tables down a conversation you know, and pick out whose voice is whose. And I'm trying to pay attention to my boys talking at the table, but I also don't want them thinking that, "Well, it's something I have, so I might as well just accept it" and not do anything about it.

I want them to be able to achieve their goals, but also be creative in how they get those goals, because sometimes you're not gonna be able to just write a to-do list. You're gonna have to do something else to try and achieve those goals. So, I want them to believe that it is a part of them. It's not something they can get rid of, but at the same time, I don't want it defining them.

Even though it's a lot of what we talk about, so it sounds like I'm defining myself with ADHD, but I'm not. A lot of times when I talk about ADHD, it's usually, it feels like it's an excuse, but it's not an excuse. It's just a reason why, you know? And so, it's a little difficult because, you know, sometimes they have to give themselves credit, like you said, and say, "Yeah, I messed this one up." And other times they gotta be like, "You know, I messed it up, I gotta push forward, I gotta go, I gotta get it done."

Laura: I hear echoes of what you were saying in terms of, I mentioned, give yourself grace. You talked about that, but then also what about the rest of the world? It's a really hard balance when you have ADHD to understand when like, "OK, that was my brain, but I still have to do something about it." I struggle with that every day. What do you think that Allison would be proud of you for? She'd probably says something snarky to you first, right?

Steve: Oh, yeah, definitely.

Laura: But you're doing so much for your boys and it seems for yourself. What do you think she would be most proud of?

Steve: I would probably have to just say that the fact that, you know, I always harp on this quote, but I have other quotes, believe me, but I got to say that it's my fight quote. It's the fact that I still get up and I fight, you know, like it's very, it's very easy for somebody, ADHD or not, it's very easy for somebody to not get up in the morning. Even if you have kids, there's people out there who have kids and a lot of people would tell me at the time, "Well, you know, I understand you're getting up out of bed because you have to, you got two kids." I'm like, "Yeah, but that's not my first thought in the morning."

I mean, it is obviously because I have those two kids, but you know, there's just something that hurts deeply getting out of bed in the morning. And so, you have coaches, you have other people that give you quotes, but they don't necessarily live by those quotes, I guess you could say. And I think she would be proud that I'm attempting to live by that, by, you know, fighting to catch up for my kids.

And yeah, it's not as good as she did it but at least it got done somehow. Or if it's missed then you know I didn't miss it the next time or something along those lines. So, I think she's proud that i'm fighting to catch up, and at one point hopefully, I do catch up and I think she'll be proud that I'm going to fight to keep the lead, so.

Laura: I think so too. Steve, throughout this conversation, I've tried to be really mindful of my station knowing that, you know, I'm not a professional anything, really, and that, you know, we've met but once before this and only ever on video. So, I'm trying not to pretend that I understand what you're going through or that I have any answers that you haven't already thought of.

But I do want to say that, and I'm really not trying to be saccharin or overly positive, but like, you're doing such a good job. I just, I'm so, I'm really moved by how you're approaching everything. And I know it must be so hard every single day, but I just think you're a really wonderful person. And we talked about what does the right track look like from where I'm sitting, this is what it looks like. So, I just, I just wanted you to know that.

Steve: I appreciate that. And to be perfectly honest, I think you hit it dead on the nose. Yeah, there might be some place in the world that you want to be, whether it's further in your career, whether it's further in a relationship. But as long as you get up and fight, as long as you get up and do something, as long as you just keep going, as long as you give yourself that grace of saying, you know, "Today is just, I don't have enough spoons in my drawer right now to do anything today."

As long as you just understand all that, just understand that people might not think you're trying, but even sitting on your couch, eating a bunch of chips, watching back-to-back movies, you know, your little comfort zone, and you do that for a day or two, maybe three, but then you get up and clean the house, that's a win. That's the track I think everybody should be on. Honestly, I think that's the track everybody's on, it's just, some people just can do it a little easier than we can.

Laura: Steve, thank you so much for being here with me today, and happy birthday to Allison and "Steve with ADHD" is the channel, everybody please go check it out. I think that's all for now, I look forward to being in touch with you, Steve.

Steve: I appreciate you for having me. Thank you so much. This was an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. I appreciate it.

Laura: Thanks for listening today. As always, if you want to share your own "aha" moment, email us at adhdaha@understood.org. I'd love to hear from you. And check out the show notes for this episode. We have more resources and links to anything we mentioned in the episode.

This show is brought to you by Understood.org. Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at Understood.org/give. "ADHD Aha!" is produced and edited by Jessamine Molli. Say hi, Jessamine!

Jessamine: Hi everyone.

Laura: And Margie DeSantis.

Margie: Hey, hey.

Laura: Our theme music was written by Justin D. Wright, who also mixes the show. Samiah Adams is our supervising producer. Briana Berry is our production director. Neil Drumming is our editorial director. From Understood.org, our executive directors are Scott Cocchiere and Seth Melnick. And I'm your host, Laura Key.